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99 things to do* 

*To call yourself a true Atlantan (81 - 99)

81 Gallery-hop in downtown's historic loft and warehouse district, Castleberry Hill. More than a dozen galleries regularly participate in the neighborhood's monthly art stroll.

click to enlarge #84
  • #84

82 Yeah, it's hot as hell in the summer, but Six Flags does have some of the best roller-coasters in the South. Take a trip on Goliath, the Scream Machine on steroids.

83 Tailgate at the UGA-Georgia Tech game -- if only to deride those ugly Bulldogs.

84 Get a lap dance from Blondie, the most notorious stripper in the notorious Clermont Lounge, in which the recipient's face gets pummeled by her "funbags," and often leaves with a crushed beer can souvenir (smashed by said funbags). Buying her a shot of Jäger also usually earns you a shot of her poetry but ... buyer beware.

85 Pretend to like some ridiculous, pretentious, post-modern food at a super trendy restaurant du jour. But you're really there to hang out with, and hope to be considered one of, the beautiful people.

86 Sip a rum-laden Mai Tai while listening to the sounds of the islands from the Tongo Hiti band. Mike Geier and his group of merry men bring their traditional Hawaiian sounds and "pop exotica" to Trader Vic's in the basement of the downtown Hilton every Thursday night and once a month for Tiki Torch Night.

When You've Just Gotta Get Out of This Place:

87 Shoot down to Tybee Island for the weekend, and get there in time to watch the sun setting over the marsh from the splendidly down-home Crab Shack, where "the elite eat in their bare feet!"

88 Yes, go See Rock City, Ruby Falls and hop on the Chattanooga Choo-Choo. But don't forget the artsy Bluff View Arts District and the bustling Chattanooga waterfront.

89 If no one has offered up their mountain cabin for a summer getaway, make your own damn fun by traveling just 30 miles to Lake Allatoona on the Etowah River.

90 If waterfalls, nature hikes and beautiful scenery are your bag, then Highlands, N.C. -- nestled in the high, cool reaches of the Appalachians -- is the perfect cup of chai.

91 Crash an all-night speakeasy on the west side. We can't tell you where to find one (we wouldn't want to get anyone busted), but here's a hint: Look for the trail of sloppy drunks and listen for the hypnotic call of booming bass.

click to enlarge #86
  • #86

92 Go on a recon mission to Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield Park. You'll be 142 years late for the battle, but the 2,884 acres of lush scenery -- including a panoramic view of metro Atlanta -- are impressive. And so is the history lesson.

93 Put some stars in your eyes at the Fernbank Science Center. The observatory, home to a 36-inch reflecting lens, is open most Thursday and Friday nights (when the skies are clear). And the planetarium, with its 70-foot-in-diameter dome, is one of the largest in the country.

94 Put your hand inside the puppet head at the Center for Puppetry Arts. If you have kids, you can take them to some of the center's witty takes on classic family stories or funny educational programs. If you're unencumbered by children, the New Directions series features shows that are sometimes artful and delicate, other times deliciously raunchy.

95 Eat at the Majestic Diner after 2 a.m., when the lines form and the staff takes names for tables.

96 Shoot a round of pool with some beer-drinking, leather-vest-wearing womyn at My Sister's Room in Decatur. Be prepared to get your ass whupped.

97 Take a leisurely tour of Paradise Gardens, the late Howard Finster's handmade cement utopia outside Summerville. The good reverend's creative use of hubcaps, buttons, broken dishes and Coke bottles will have you debating the merits of inspiration vs. eccentricity.

click to enlarge #88
  • #88

98 Eat a Lutherburger at Mulligan's. Legend has it the sandwich was invented by R&B singer Luther Vandross in a moment of extreme hunger. He had cooked a burger, only to discover he had no bun. So he improvised and used what he had on hand: a Krispy Kreme doughnut split in half.

99 Read Creative Loafing, and count the number of references to the male sex organ in Hollis Gillespie's Moodswing column.

Written by: Alyssa Abkowitz, Besha Rodell, Carlton Hargro, Chase Mitchell, Coley Ward, Curt Holman, David Lee Simmons, Felicia Feaster, Heather Kuldell, John Sugg, Ken Edelstein, Layla Bellows, Lea Holland, Mara Shalhoup, Mosi Reeves, Scott Freeman and Scott Henry.

THE SCORECARD

What is your "true Atlantan" quotient? Add up the number of things you've done to find out.

0-20 -- OK, you just moved here; you're forgiven.

21-35 -- Dude, you really need to get out more.

36-50 -- At least you know where to take relatives when they come to visit.

51-65 -- Yes, you are a true hipster.

66-80 -- You're either a journalist who's had to do all this stuff, or else a trust fund baby with too much time and money to burn; go home and do something useful.

81-99 -- Time to move. You need new adventures.

Did we miss something?

Add your own entry to our list of "Things to do to call yourself a true Atlantan" by commenting below.

99 things to do

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