...couldn't put Little Georgie back together again (forget George III---I meant "George the Sot" and his splendid little war!!!)
There are approximately 144K 'boots on the ground' in Iraq (figure another 10x's that in RAMFs (Rear Area MotherFuckers)sustaining the force. If you count the 20K surge (minus Iraqi government forces and allied militia) and don't count the surge in the current 100K Private Contractors in Baghdads---them's a shitload of people for such a small little village (44mile by 44mile). And yet the carnage continues?!!!
I wanted to write SEC of State DR. Connie Rice "Why is America so adament about preventing civil war in Iraq? Civil Wars aren't necessarily a bad thing, after all---if it wasn't for the AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, you wouldn't be Secretary of State, now would you, DR RICE!!! Then I'd have to call for the Secret Service to get her off of me!!! They don't call her the 'Hitlady in Heels' for nothing!!!
Last time I was in ATL, I was almost arrested which meant I could have been reading about...me!!!
OFFICERS approached a 39 year old male seated in a rental car near Midtown ATL. OFFICERS observed the man playing music and bobbing his head up and down.
When approached, suspect was alone in his car and his pants were up. Suspect said he had just purchased several used CDs and was enjoying the music.
When informed that he was parked in a location known for Prostitution, suspect replied: "They're right about Southern Hospitality---I just arrived in town 15 minutes ago and already you guys (Cops) are showing me a good time. I swear to God; the cops here are like the Welcome Wagon or something!". Police told suspect "Ya'll come back, now...BUT NOT HERE!!!"
How Ya'll all doin' in the Southern Fried State?!!! I could see you as a guest at a 3D Grade Show and Tell. "Hi, my name is Lauren and I am a writer. My job is to get up every morning and write about the good folks of AT-Lanta.
The pay is good but my social life---SUCKS!!! Hey, my job is to write about Atlanta---I don't want to run into the people I write about...
And REMEMBER, KIDS---double lock your door at home!
I didn't like the tone of the Blotter this time. What makes the blotter interesting is it's stilted, police-like commentary. Please despence with the scarcasm and witty set-asides; the daily 'ATL Freakshow' is funny/scarey enough without it. FIY, the blotter is "my FIRST READ" of Creative Loafing.
I am courious what gives you the strenght to go to work each morning? Think about it. You get up, sip your morning coffee and grab your car keys...for what? So you can write about the sick-o's, druggies, crazies and the rest of the 'human freak show' living outside your locked door? HELLO? Has is occured to you that you live amongst these people? Do you, like, carry a gun and/or extra life insurance? Isn't your life 'an accident or crime statistic about to happen? If it matters, I love reading your colume---and to think I thought the people of San Francisco were 'weird'!!!
I miss your colume!!! The Blotter and News of the Weird were my favorite items in Creative Loafing.
FYI, I 'grade' your articles like a 4th Grade School teacher---with a red Le Pen and a self serving smirk.
Here are my codes:
"FS" (Fuckin' Stupid),
"FN" (Fuckin' Nutz),
"ATL" (Only in Atlanta or Georgia---like your prohibition against selling Dildos on Sunday),
"STAR" (Fuckin' Badge Heavy COP-Suckers),
"SH" (Shit Happends)
"OG" (Original Gangster=Criminal activity)
"NS" (No SHIT!!!)
Example, the dipshit cop who left his car keys in his crusier and didn't set the park break (it rolled and hit a pole) rated a STAR, FS and a NS rating. I was tempted to also code it ATL but our cops in SF are just a bad(San Francisco). They will beat up and rob tourists of their Taco Bell Chalupas if they are 'really in the mood for Mexican' it is happends to be the last one sold that night!!!
I would love to see your article in the SF Weekly or Bay Area Guardian!!!
I am Writing Mayor Newsome of San Francisco to get a restraining order against your city for stealing our TVs away from us---if you take all of our TVs away from us, the Tourists will have nothing to gawk at on Polk Street!!! So he-she stole a tiger striped purse worth $4k? Tiger striped? P-L-E-A-S-E!!! Tiger strips are so last year, Honey!!! Besides, how will he-she coordinate it with her shoes---they stopped making Tiger Striped pumps and slingbacks in the 80's!!! Finally, I liked the store's response: "Help, Help, POLICE! We have been robbed---we'll get back to you in four days to file a report!!!
Creative Loafing Atlanta
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