the urban shaman 
Member since Dec 20, 2007

Latest Review

Re: “Noodle

it may sound ridiculous, but the truth of the matter is that you're pressed to find a good noodle place in this town, unless you have a loud muffler and mis-matched bumpers on your honda civic. your girlfriend may not say much, but she's a panther in bed. rawrrr. noodle in decaturland hopes to fill this niche for confused, hungry white yuppies wandering around downtown decatur debating what kind of piece of junk with hand-painted bible verses written all over it they're going to impulse-buy. these people saw hideous kinky that afternoon, and after leaving the starbucks, decided that they needed noodles, and maybe some of that ginko tea the oh! channel told them was good for their circulation. i decided to follow them in, and see what the fuss was about. the grandmother in the group had been putting away mint juleps at birdi's, and was telling me in great detail about her whore of a grand-daughter. she told me many things; her brief affair with salman rushdie, her trip to kenya, and swimming with giant jellyfish off the coast of japan. after she left birdi's, i decided to tag along - the old woman (patricia) had taken an affection to me, and we walked arm in arm and navigated around the construction to get to the starbucks. after all, it was small price to pay to meet this 19 year old vixen. it pays off to respect the elderly. i usually key cars that are parked in disabled spots without any form of disability status on display. patricia laughed when i told her this and told me to join them for lunch. noodle was miserably hot. you'd think in the middle of an atlanta summer a restaurant could manage to turn on air-conditioning. or a bar, for that matter. opening the door doesn't help. your customers need FREON. the girl, michelle, what exactly what i expected out of a girl named michelle. she was in a halter-top, and was wearing some weird rubber shoes with holes in them. she wasn't terribly flattering. our waiter was a very bubbly young man named timothy. timothy quickly apologized for the lack of air-conditioning and told us the water would be free. then i realized he had made a joke. i had some of that fabled nectar of life, this here ginko tea. i ordered the pad thai, the most telling metric of any pan-asian noodle restaurant. what i got instead was something very unexpected. in the middle of the bowl was a giant, purple, slimy thing. it looked like barney's shriveled up pecker. i asked timothy what it was, and he was unable to identify it. his best guess was that it was eggplant. i've seen eggplant before, and eggplant doesn't generally look that way. not unless you bought it from a hot-dog van in downtown miami, from a man with big ray-bans and an open, sweaty shirt. eggplant was not listed as one of the ingredients on the menu. i tried my best to eat around the thing, and after an hour, there it sat atop a pedastal of rice noodles, wearing the lime for a hat. overall, my experience there was terrible. i just couldn't get over the purple thing. i still have nightmares about it.

Posted by the urban shaman on 06/19/2006 at 10:27 PM

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