In honor of your leaving, they announced the title of the last Harry Potter book. "Harry Potter and the Reaming of Ron's Redeye." I hope you're proud.
The Ware Family Awards, Making Me Drink Your Piss When I Was 6, Mom Finding Your Manilla Envelope Full Of Porn But Not Opening It Just Leaving It On Your Bed With A Note: "Trash or Treasure?", Beating French Kids At Street Fighter II, The Felony That Wasn't, Making A Pregnant Woman Cry, Getting Your Legs Run Over By Your Best Friend At The Time And Then Suddenly Becoming Nice To Everyone Cause You Needed Their Help...
Oh, wait, these have shit to do with Atlanta nightlife.
Get your own damn apartment so that I can come visit.
What Tony failed to mention is that the reason he's moving to DC is that he's been recruited for a government think tank. This think tank's job is to invent 1000 new euphemisms for "vagina." They only have a year and 48 cases of Red Bull to do it in. The pressure of this task alone is killing Tony's mindhole. Oh, the slippery slope of future progress!
First new euphemism for vagina: "slippery slope."
He won this award at our annual Ware Family Awards. I won the award for Brother of the Writer of the Year. My dad won the award for Beardiest Beard, but Tony came in second.
Creative Loafing Atlanta
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