I am an Army Vet, serving as an infantryman. I was medically discharged from service for Depression and anxiety. I injured both my knees and my back. That cause me allot of pain,
which lead to me being unable to do my job. Which brought the
When I realized that my injuries where not going to get taken care
of, as the Army said that nothing was wrong with me and they thought I
was faking. I started to worry excessively that on my upcoming
deployment that not only would I be liability to my unit, but because I
was broken and weak that I could very well cost one of my battle buddies
their life simply because I was unable to perform my duties due to the
This lead to me wanting to kill myself. Not because I wanted to die.
Very much the opposite. I wanted to live. But more then that I didn’t
want to risk someone else’s life. I tried very hard to seek help trough out all this, but never found any. I was always told to “soldier on” “drink water” ect. In the end they cut me lose, broken and very messed up in my head. I
spent the next two years just trying to function with my friends and
family. However I couldn’t do much physically because of the pain. It
hurt to sit, stand, walk or even to lay down.
I lost my wife of 10 years because of my mental state and my
inability to hold a job, or even do house hold work. I couldn’t even
have sex with my wife. Due to either pain, or the inability to get or
maintain and erection.
This of course lead to more depression and anxiety getting much worse.
I was at my mental and physical limit. I was just about to give up on
everything and cash in my chips. When a friend came over and asked if I
wanted to split a joint with me.
Now I had not tried marijuana in over 15 years. I did it a little as a
teen with friends. But to tell the truth I faked it and never inhaled. I
just was trying to fit in and thought weed was very bad for you. (I
come from the start of the D.A.R.E era) But I thought to myself what
harm could it do to me now, I would just assume be dead anyway. So I
Now before I go on, I would like to say that I thought medical
marijuana was just some lame excuse to get high. But boy was I wrong.
I noticed after my first couple of tokes that I was starting to feel a
little more at ease, not so anxious. Keep in mind also I was doing this
on my front step in full view of anyone, 2 blocks from the local police
station. And I felt more calm and at ease.
By the time I had finished I also noticed almost all my pain was better, not 100% gone but very manageable.
I have been a daily user now for about 4 years. And I am happy to say
I have got my life back. I may still not be able to do the thing I did
when I was 20, but who can right? With everything I heard and thought I
new about pot was so wrong.
I never would have thought in a million years that a tiny little plant could give me my life back, but it did.
But for some reason it is illegal. Meaning if I am ever caught with
it, my life will be taken away from me again. That would mark twice that
my government, which I bleed for took my life from me.
I fought for freedom, but have none in regards to my own health and
well being. No I am labeled a criminal, a drug user and forgotten.
I would move to a medical marijuana state if I was able to, but
financially I am unable to. I am not even eligible for disability from
the Army simple because I found medicine that works.
Creative Loafing Atlanta
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