Bar Review - Bamboo Luau’s bamboozling effects

When gnawing on a dish of Buddha’s delight or Kung Pao, you probably never thought that your meal would go well with a big blue rum drink. Odds are, you don’t expect that a big blue rum drink will complement much of any food.

But a colorful beverage selection hearkening more to Jamaica than the Pacific is just one of the many quizzical charms for those dining at Bamboo Luau — Cheshire Bridge Road’s long-running, late-night Chinese joint. Perennially empty, the location has managed to be in business seemingly longer than anyone can remember and continues to remain in business long after you’ll forget it’s there. (Naturally, there’s an urban legend maintaining that the Chinese Mafia runs it. Who else could manage to keep an empty restaurant running until 3 a.m. nightly?)

But if this were true, one would at least expect to find a pricey selection of cognacs or fine French wines designed to show off excess and splendor. Instead, the priciest of beverages are those built for two. At a whopping $10, the Luau Bowl — whose sweet base can be laced with bourbon, rum, gin or scotch — will at least set your mind back, if not your wallet. Like some pleasure with your pain? Try the similarly sized Scorpion, a self-proclaimed festive concoction featuring rums, brandy, fresh fruit juice and almond flavor.

Although the faux marble flooring and crystal chandelier of the front entryway reveal a selection of solid liquors, one would do well to note that the largely unused bottle of Chambord is high on a shelf that the stereotypical Asian arm can’t reach. The drinks only look sweet and innocent, and are served in the kind of glasses your grandma probably used for orange juice. That Blue Hawaiian, Technicolor Mai Tai or Crayola-colored Fog Cutter is still likely to burn more than the hot mustard. When paired with the right and proper levels of salty Chinese food, however, the blazing beverages offer no discernible buzz.

Traditionally an outpost for the college student and gay man looking for an alternative late-night bite, Bamboo Luau only gets the whisper of additional life on the weekends when hungry pre- and post-clubbers head in, making it ideal for both watering and wallowing, depending on your drinking needs. Slide into one of the many empty booths and phony granite tables and revel in anonymity behind the blazing colors of the weirdest cocktail you’ve probably ever had in a Chinese restaurant.

Bamboo Luau, 2263 Cheshire Bridge Road. 404-636-9131. Daily 11:30-3 a.m.