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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

SUSPICIOUS MINDS, PART 1: A 69-year-old woman hosted a bridge game at her home on Beaver Falls Place. She said a bridge club partner threatened to slap her face, among other verbal threats. According to the police report, the suspect apparently believes the 69-year-old woman is having an affair with her ex-husband. While police were there, the suspect and her ex-husband showed up. The suspect, a 68-year-old woman, "appeared upset but not violent." They had come from a doctor's appointment where the doctor recommended that the 68-year-old get psychological help. Police advised the suspect not to return to the woman's home on Beaver Falls Place and to make an appointment for her anger issues.

SUSPICIOUS MINDS, PART II: On Colland Drive, a 27-year-old woman said she heard the doorbell ring several times, and someone repeatedly knocking on her front door. She said when she answered the door, her neighbor was standing there. According to the 27-year-old woman, the neighbor said in an extremely agitated voice, "If you want me to give you my husband's 'fuck me' number, then I will. I'm just fucking tired of this shit!" Frightened, she shut the door. The 27-year-old woman told police that she hasn't had any recent conversations with her female neighbor, and she can't think of any reason why the neighbor would suspect her of making romantic advances toward her husband.

FAST-FOOD COMEDY HOUR: A red car crashed through the front door of a Mrs. Winner's restaurant on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway, shattering the front glass window. The 19-year-old driver said she accidentally crashed because she got distracted while talking to her brother. She said the car was parked in a parking space and her foot accidentally hit the gas pedal because she started laughing at a joke. It gets even more bizarre: The 19-year-old driver works at the Mrs. Winner's, and the assistant manager is her stepmother. Damages to the glass window: about $300. Damage to the red 1994 Buick: about $4,000.

SEARCHING FOR HOME? Officers got numerous calls about suspected prostitution in parts of the Pittsburgh community in southwest Atlanta. At 7:30 a.m., police checked a vacant home on Coleman Street. An officer wrote, "Upon entry, we identified ourselves as Atlanta police officers," an officer wrote. He said a man wearing jeans and a white T-shirt walked out of a bedroom, followed by a taller man wearing jeans, "a black lingerie top and a long brown wig." The home "was filled with trash, clothing and feces," the officer wrote. Both men said they were homeless. They were charged with occupying a placarded property and went to jail.

OLD-SCHOOL BRAWL: At an elementary school on Fair Street, a crossing guard said he was walking some students across the street when a parent threatened him. The crossing guard said the parent grabbed some tree limbs and threw them at him -- so the crossing guard threw his stop sign at the parent, hitting him in the back. According to the crossing guard, the parent threw the stop sign back at him, hitting his arm and head as he tried to catch the sign. Then, the crossing guard stopped cooperating with police and answering questions. At Grady Memorial Hospital, he refused medical treatment for his head injuries.

TEACHERS DESERVE BETTER: One morning, a 34-year-old elementary school teacher parked her 1993 red Jeep Cherokee behind her elementary school on Henry Thomas Drive. Later that day, she learned someone had broken into her car by popping out the door lock on the passenger side. The teacher said her car was ransacked. The only item reported missing: the teacher's tote bag, which contained her textbooks for graduate school (cost: $400). No suspects.

PEOPLE STEAL WEIRD STUFF: A Texas man said his breathing machine was stolen at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. The Texas man said he was working on his laptop while sitting at a gate on Concourse C and his breathing machine was right next to him. At some point, he realized his breathing machine was gone. He checked with the airport's lost and found -- no luck.

LIVING ON A PRAYER: A man said he was carjacked around 3 a.m. on Broad Street. He said the car is his fiancee's 2003 Pontiac Grand Am. He said around 11 p.m., he had gone to a church on Broad Street to pray. "He stated that it is the month of Ramadan and that they pray a lot during this month," an officer wrote. "He stated that after he finished praying, he was tired. He stated he had to come back in the morning to pray again, and instead of going home, he decided to sleep in his car on Broad Street." The man said another man tapped on his car window with a gun, waking him up. He said the suspect told him to get out of the car -- he complied -- and the suspect drove away. The officer asked the man "Why he would sleep in his car in that area, known for drugs, homelessness and other criminal activities. He stated that he comes down to the area regularly and feeds the homeless and helps them." He said he doesn't know the suspect, but he's seen him before, and the suspect is a drug dealer.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.

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