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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

GETTING CLEAN ON PONCE: According to police reports, a woman refused to leave a hotel on Ponce de Leon Avenue. The front-desk manager said it was the last day the woman was allowed to stay in her hotel room, according to a paid contract with a community group — but the woman said she would leave the next day, on her own time. A police officer talked with the woman. “[She] stated she was not leaving because she had cleaned the entire room, and scrubbed the bathroom with bleach,” the officer wrote. “While I was attempting to get the facts straight, [the woman] was continuously calling everyone ‘Satan worshipers [sic]’ and stating that she is our ‘superior’ and I was going to be a ‘Satanist’ if I listened to what they said.”
    Also, the woman said she was not leaving until she took a shower. The officer wrote, “I was standing in front of the bathroom door and advised her that she was not going to be able to take the shower and she must leave.” The woman replied, “I am not leaving until I take a fucking shower!”
    The officer said she would have to go through him to get to the shower. “[She] then charged at me, causing me to tackle her to the ground.” After a struggle, the woman was arrested and went to jail. Her belongings included eight bottles of prescription medicine and two black purses.

FRUIT OF THE WEEK: On Fletcher Street, a 27-year-old man said he argued with a woman nicknamed Peaches. He said he told Peaches to leave his home and Peaches got angry and threw a glass bowl through his front window. Peaches fled before police arrived.  

YOU'RE NOT IN ATHENS ANYMORE
: An officer responded to a call about an unresponsive man partially blocking traffic on Wessyngton Road. Upon arrival, the officer found a man wearing a red shirt, khaki shorts, and one brown loafer on his left foot. “He appeared unconscious, with half his body on the lawn and the other half in the street,” the officer wrote. After several attempts, the man woke up. “[The man] gave his credit card when asked for his identification card. Then he gave me his cell phone,” the officer wrote. “When asked if he knows where he is, he stated, ‘I’m in Athens.’” The man said he couldn’t remember how much alcohol he had consumed. Police charged him with disorderly conduct under the influence. He lives on Little Oconee Street in Athens.

HEY, MR. BIG SHOT: A 22-year-old man from Cumming said he lost his wallet at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. According to the police report, his wallet contained his Marine Corps identification card, his Georgia driver’s license, and his White House Communications Agency ID.

HEY, MR. WET AND WILD
: A 26-year-old man from Greenville, S.C., was at a concert at Aaron's Amphitheatre at Lakewood. He allegedly “exposed his private parts and urinated" on a 20-year-old Marietta woman, according to a police report. He was charged with disorderly conduct while intoxicated.

SPORE STORE: Two 19-year-old women and two 20-year-old women rented a home together on Kirkwood Avenue. They said they were home one evening when they heard a loud noise. Their living-room ceiling collapsed, showering mold into the room. There was a “ten by ten foot hole in the ceiling,” an officer noted. “When it fell down, the mold landed on the listed items that were in the living room.” Damaged items included a TV, a DVD player, a mattress and sheets, clothes and a hair dryer.

WORKED UP: At a gym on Carmia Drive, a woman said she noticed a man inside the women’s locker room. “The suspect was said to be in a shower area attempting to watch women undress,” an officer wrote. The woman said she screamed when she saw the man — and he ran out of the gym. She said she followed him to the parking lot and he drove away in a red Monte Carlo. The woman said this is not the first time this type of incident has happened. The suspect is described as a 200-pound man with dreadlocks.

THANKS, COUSIN: A 20-year-old man said he left the country in January to study abroad and returned in August to his apartment on Peachtree Street. The man said he noticed that his car had been stolen (a 2004 Pontiac) and $1,400 cash was missing from his kitchen drawer. He said he told his landlord and his cousin that he was leaving the country — and his cousin promised to check on his home regularly. Police talked to the cousin, who said the last time he checked on the man’s apartment was in February.

CARELESS BANK ROBBER? At about 12:45 p.m., a man reportedly entered a bank on Glenwood Avenue and handed a teller a note, which read: “No dye bomb, give me all the cash. Put money on the counter now.” The teller gave him the money from the till ($6,982) and the man left in a silver minivan. “When the suspect left the bank, he left the demand note and dropped a $100 bill on the floor,” an officer wrote. “The note was collected for fingerprints and the $100 bill was returned to the bank.” No injuries. Images of the suspect were captured on bank surveillance video.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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