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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

MEAN GIRLS: An officer responded to a dispute between two women at an apartment complex on Parkway Drive. The women are next-door neighbors. A 21-year-old woman said bleach was thrown at her door. A 32-year-old woman said the 21-year-old put a can inside a sock and threatened to hit her with it.

The officer wrote, "I found no evidence that bleach was thrown ... I found no sock with a can inside it." The officer told both women to stay inside their apartments and to talk with the apartment managers in the morning.

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO: On Sand Dollar Court, a 36-year-old man said his former boyfriend showed up around 10 a.m. and stole his wallet from his car parked in the driveway. The 36-year-old man said he saw this happen from his upstairs window. He said his ex-boyfriend knows that he keeps his wallet in the glove compartment. (Blotter note: The man did not explain why he prefers to store his wallet in his car instead of his apartment.)

He said his ex-boyfriend also left a letter on the car windshield – and the letter stated that the ex-boyfriend wants to get back together. The man said his ex-boyfriend calls him and leaves messages on his phone.

Turns out, the same reporting officer gave the ex-boyfriend a trespassing warning about two weeks prior, instructing him to stay away from the man's home on Sand Dollar Court. The officer told the man to call 911 if he sees the ex-boyfriend again.

FOCUS ON HYGIENE: A 54-year-old man was accused of loitering on a bench at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. Two officers took the man to the airport police precinct. There, the man reportedly accused police of profiling him and threatened to "blow up my brains off," an officer wrote. "[The man] said he would fuck me up later and make a complaint about us." Police walked the man to a paddywagon outside the airport terminal. "[The man] turned his head and spit on my face," an officer wrote. After a struggle, the officer said he pinned the man's head against the door, and "he kicked his foot back at me in between my legs." The officer said he had to use force to restrain the man.

Later, the officer called the jail to check on the man. Another officer said the man "was a totally different person when they arrived at the jail – very cooperative."

The man's belongings were turned in to police property. They included: toenail clippers, tweezers, a manicure kit, Dr. Scholl's corn callus remover, some Blistex, a bottle of vitamin C, a gold wristwatch and a gold pocketwatch.

FLYING HIGH WITH FIDO: Around 9:45 a.m., an officer responded to a traffic accident on Marietta and McMillan streets. The driver, a 31-year-old man, said he lost control of his car and hit a utility pole. "He could not keep his eyes open," the officer wrote. "While sitting in the vehicle, [the man] was acting as if he could not sit up in the car. He kept slouching over." The man wasn't hurt, but he "had a white substance on his face," the officer noted. The man said he had taken some Percocet. The officer found two empty bottles of prescription pills -- Roxicodone and Xanax -- on the car floorboard. Also, the man had a small dog with him at the time of the accident.

PIECE OF CAKE: On Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, a man said his baby's mother arrived and started taking the baby's clothes and other belongings. He said she hollered, screamed and called him names. He said she wanted some cake that he made for himself. "He said she hit him on the shoulder with a piece of cake wrapped in tinfoil," an officer wrote. Also, he said she called him a "bitch motherfucker." He said he grabbed a BB gun and said he was going to shoot up the car. He said he just wanted her to go.

The baby's mother lives on Park Avenue. She said she went to get the baby's stuff from the father's house because conditions are unfit for the baby to live there. She said the man screamed at her and said he was very ill and she was taking their son from him. She said he threw cake at her and her car. Also, she said he grabbed a gun and threatened to "snipe" her.

The reporting officer observed cake in the driveway and on the car.

The man, who has several long-term health problems, went to jail on an aggravated assault charge. The woman got a ticket for disorderly conduct.

HOPE THE POLE DANCE WAS WORTH IT: An officer reported a 2009 Nissan Altima speeding down West Peachtree Street around 2:30 a.m. After a chase, the officer stopped the car near 10th Street and spoke with the driver, a 28-year-old Florida man. "While talking with him, I noticed a Florida tag on the floorboard," the officer wrote. The man said, "I know I was speeding, huh." The officer asked the man where he was coming from and "he was hesitant about answering but then said, 'Uh, the Cheetah!'" The man admitted he had consumed two beers and said "that he took Lexapro yesterday and Xanax today for depression," the officer wrote. The man was arrested for DUI/less safe driver.

BEVERAGE WAR: Drinking milk was the subject of a heated argument between two housemates on Chappell Road. Both men admitted to punching each other, but they both said the punch was to stop the other person's attack. Both men have mental issues. The housemates, ages 25 and 28, both went to jail on a fighting charge.

SELF-MEDICATION: At a grocery store on Metropolitan Parkway, a 56-year-old man allegedly tried to steal a tube of Neosporin worth $8. The man complained that he had gout. He went to jail on a shoplifting charge.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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