Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

GUY CLEANER: At a dry cleaner on North Highland Avenue, the manager said a man walked in and "went into the bathroom and began washing himself in there and getting water and dirt all over the bathroom," according to a police report. She said the same man had been warned several times before to stay away from the dry cleaner. The manager said she banged on the door and told the man to leave, and the "half-naked" man opened the door and began cursing at her. The manager said at some point, the man started to leave and he called her a "fucking bitch" in front of customers. So she called police.

When an officer arrived, the manager pointed to a location about a half-block away, where the suspect was now. The officer went there and arrested the man. The officer wrote, "The male had his clothes lying on the ground and I asked if he had a bag he wanted to put them in and the male responded, 'Throw them away.'"

So the officer left the clothes there, on the ground, and took the man to jail on a disorderly conduct charge. The man, 44, hails from New York City.

OH, RUBBISH: Around 10:30 a.m. on Boulevard, an officer reported a man "throwing trash, clothes and vehicle wheel caps" on sidewalks and in the streets as cars went by. The officer said he asked the man "why he was throwing trash all over and at vehicles." The man replied, "I'm having a bad day and I don't want that stuff anymore." The officer arrested the man for throwing trash on public spaces. The man, 37, went to jail.

STRANGE HAPPENINGS IN BUCKHEAD: Around 3 a.m., an officer was working an extra job at an Irish bar on Buckhead Avenue. A man was "walking his intoxicated girlfriend from the back of the bar," the officer wrote. "After a few minutes, I looked up and [the man] was trying to re-enter the closed bar." Also, the man was holding a bar employee by his shirt. "I walked over and observed [the man's] girlfriend lying on her back on the cement walkway." The man was escorted out of the bar. He yelled, "You gonna make fun of somebody drunk?" The officer noted, "It was undetermined who he was yelling at."

The officer told the man that he needed to help take care of his girlfriend. The man's eyes were dilated and his speech was extremely slurred, the officer noted. "I want to go home," the man said. He started walking away with another woman – his girlfriend's friend. "[The man] turned around and began mumbling unknown words toward the bar staff," the officer wrote. "He was walking backward and I said, 'Watch the curb.'" The officer pointed at the curb behind him. The man "tripped backward and landed into a bush."

The man got even angrier. "He sat up, took off his sweater and undershirt in one movement," an officer noted. "He stood up and began to walk toward the bar staff. His girlfriend's friend put out her arms to stop him. He violently pushed her arms aside. 'Fuck you! I'll kick your ass!' he yelled," according to the report.

The officer noted that he had to take the man to the ground to arrest him. Later, as the officer explained the charges, the man was apologetic. While medics cleaned his abrasion, a medic noticed four or five old scars on the man's upper-arm area. The medic asked, "Are you a cutter?" The man got agitated and said, "Yeah, I used to cut myself." The man, 22, went to jail, charged with disorderly conduct under the influence.

STRANGE HAPPENINGS IN VIRGINIA-HIGHLAND: An officer was working a traffic stop at Barnett Street and Virginia Avenue. An elderly white-haired man in a walker approached the officer and handed over a key ring with eight keys on it. The elderly man said he found the keys about a half-block away.

The officer noted, "The key ring contains eight keys, one is to a Ford vehicle, one has the word BELL on it, one has the word SACHS on it, and one is round. The key ring also has a charm on it that looks like a dice and a red-in-color can/bottle opener." No other clues to the identity of the key ring's owner.

LONG DELAY: At Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, a military liaison told a police officer that a 25-year-old man had been stranded in the airport for five days. The military liaison said the man had been camping out in the USO, claiming to be flying on a buddy pass from Montana.

So the officer chatted with the 25-year-old man. He said he was trying to get a flight to Montana without serious delays. The officer ran a background check on the man. Turns out, he has a warrant in Cobb County for obstructing police. He went to jail.

IRONY AND COCAINE: Around 3:45 p.m., an undercover officer noticed a man hiding in a small space, directly underneath the bridge at the I-20/Spring Street overpass. The undercover officer got out of his car, and the man started walking hurriedly toward him. The man was visibly shaking and had a noticeable tremor in his voice. "They're looking for me," he said. The undercover officer asked him who "they" are. The man said, "Atlanta police."

Undercover officers found suspected cocaine on the man, and ran a field test on the substance. When officers exclaimed that the test results were positive, the man uttered, "OK, you got me. Good work." The man, 47, went to jail on numerous charges.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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