Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports
by Lauren Keating
TIME ELEMENT, a woman was lighting sparklers while standing in her front yard on Woodland Avenue, when a male neighbor walked over and told her to stop. She said her neighbor left, only to come back moments later "with a bat, saying she better stop lighting the fucking fireworks," an officer wrote.The officer said he talked with the neighbor, a 33-year-old man who smelled like booze. The neighbor admitted he'd had a few drinks. He was charged with acting violent and using profanity. Apparently, the neighbor used salty language once inside the patrol car: "He was saying u are a stupid ass mother fucker."
I SMELL A rat: A woman returned to her home on McGill Place and found wood chippings near the basement door. She walked into the basement and found potpourri scattered in the bathroom, pictures moved on the wall, and damage to the closet door and thermostat, so she called police. All the doors and windows were locked, indicating no forced entry. Police found "a small hole located in the victim's wall, consistent with what a large rodent would make," an officer wrote. "Upon further investigation, rodent feces were located on the stairs leading to the victim's damaged basement door, which were previously believed to be mud from [the] officer's boots." Nothing further.
Baby-daddy repellent: A 20-year-old woman said she was arguing with her child's father about him not wanting to make a bottle, when he jumped up and pushed her. The child's father, 19, said the woman and her mother are always bothering him, and the night before, the woman sprayed him with roach spray. Police charged the father with disorderly conduct and took him to jail.
Deep shit: A man called police and said his girlfriend was at Grady Memorial Hospital after falling into a hole. A police officer went to the hospital to talk to the 43-year-old girlfriend. She said got a ride home after hanging out with a friend, but they ran out of gas. She and her boyfriend walked to a gas station and returned to the car. "While attempting to enter the passenger side of the vehicle, she fell into an open sewer hole on the right side of the I-20 ramp," an officer wrote. The woman's boyfriend pulled her out of the hole, she got in the car, and they started home — but she had to stop and call 911 because she was in pain.
Juice is thicker than blood: A 36-year-old man said his live-in girlfriend cut his hand during an argument at their home on McClure Avenue. "I observed a trail of blood on the driveway and blood all over the house," an officer noted. The girlfriend fled before police arrived. Medics treated the man's hand. "He then stated he wanted to walk to the store to get an apple juice." Nothing further.
NIGHT-SWIMMING sharks: A 29-year-old woman said she was at the pool at her apartment complex on Parkland Drive around 1 a.m., when she went to the apartment of a male stranger and his girlfriend. The man "wanted her to engage in a threesome sexual act with him and his girlfriend, but she refused," an officer wrote. She said the man pushed her and punched her face. The woman ran out of the apartment, leaving her shoes behind. She told police she could not remember which apartment the man lived in, or his name. "[She] was crying and saying she was an adult and should have known better than to put herself in that position," an officer wrote.
TWISTED SISTER: A woman got into an argument with her younger sister about "her sleeping with her boyfriend." (It's unclear which sister slept with the other sister's boyfriend.) Around 3:30 a.m., the older sister was asleep when a rock smashed through her window, causing $400 in damages. She said she saw her younger sister running away from the window. An officer found the younger sister, 23, on Cascade Road. "[She] had to be tackled to the ground and physically be restrained to get into handcuffs," an officer wrote. The younger sister was charged with of damaging property and obstructing police.
Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.
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