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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

Last month, an officer noticed a man ripping up a newspaper and tossing it over the fence onto the expressway. (Maybe he's not a fan of CL?) The 51-year-old man, with apparent anger issues, went to jail for the alleged incident.

Bird brains: On a recent Monday afternoon, a 29-year-old man, who was sporting a Comcast shirt, was cleaning a birdcage at his home on Richmond Circle when another man accused him of disconnecting the cable. An officer arrived on the scene and noted that the two men began to act violent and threatened to kick each other's ass. Both men got tickets for disorderly conduct.

JOY RIDE GONE BAD: On July 1, a man noticed damage to his red 2010 Toyota Corolla that was parked outside his apartment on Cheshire Bridge Road. The man felt that someone had stole his vehicle, crashed it and then parked it outside the apartment building. An officer noticed fresh white paint on the car and significant damage to the passenger side. "I just woke up and noticed that someone struck my car and I want a report done," the man said.

DESPERATE TIMES: An officer responded to a call about an alleged robbery last month at a home on Child's Drive. A 38-year-old man said he went there to see a woman he met on a singles chat line. When he arrived, the woman took him into her room, pulled out a gun and demanded money. He said he handed over $20 and left.

When police arrived at the 33-year-old woman's home, she agreed to let them search her room. No gun was found. The woman showed the cops messages on her cell phone in which she and the man agreed to meet for sex in exchange for cash. When the man arrived, she wanted her money up front, but the man began "hemming and hawing about his money being left in his car," the officer wrote. She told the man to leave. Both the man and woman were charged with soliciting sex.

TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT: A 21-year-old Roswell woman went to Atlantic Station earlier this month. She said she noticed a broken glass bottle in the parking space next to her car. She said she found an Atlantic Station employee and asked her to clean up the broken glass bottle, to which the employee responded that wasn't her job and she "should slap the shit out of her" for asking, an officer noted.

BELOW THE BELT: On a recent Thursday afternoon, a 39-year-old man dropped his pants at a busy Midtown intersection, exposing his penis and rear end. The officer noted that this wasn't the first time he had come into contact with the man, and took him to jail on an indecent exposure charge.

WHEN YOU GOTTA GO: A 45-year-old woman was accused of defecating in public earlier this month. According to a police officer, the woman was doing her business on a ledge of a vacant home on Arkwright Place. The woman informed the officer that she had the right to use the bathroom there, even though she was in plain view of passing cars and pedestrians. The woman went to jail.

ARMED AND READY: A man's luggage set off a security alarm at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport last month, and officials allegedly found a loaded gun in his bag. TSA officials found "a loaded chrome Smith and Wesson snub nose .38 model 60 with a brown handle inside of a brown holster," an officer wrote. A computer check revealed the gun was reported stolen in Mayfield, Ky., more than 10 years ago. The 67-year-old man, who hails from Peachtree City, went to jail.

LATE-NIGHT CRAVING: A 36-year-old man said he was robbed at his home on McAfee Street on a recent Sunday morning. The man claimed to have only recently met the suspect, though they talk with each other "all day and night," the officer wrote. "He took the male back to his house because he didn't want him to get on the bus that late at night."

During the night, the suspect woke up and said he had to leave and asked him to turn off the house alarm. After the man turned off the alarm, he returned to his room and noticed that his pants were not in the same place. The man's birth certificate, driver's license, Social Security card and credit card were missing from his wallet. He said he called his credit card company and discovered his credit card had been used at a Chinese restaurant and a MARTA station.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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