Two cousins were arguing at their apartment on Stone Road earlier this month. When police arrived, they told the male cousin, 26, to go their grandmother's house to prevent further confrontation. Apparently, he didn't leave. The female cousin, 21, said he started looking for some rolling papers in the living room, and she told him to go back to his room so they wouldn't argue — but they started fighting again. She said the male cousin threatened to cut her with a knife and pushed her down. The male cousin claimed that she hit him and threatened to pour hot oil on him. Both cousins went to jail on disorderly conduct charges.
A MAN IN uniform: According to police, a red Cadillac DeVille turned onto Cleveland Avenue and failed to yield to three cars, "narrowly missing a major" auto crash. The officer stopped the car and talked to the driver, who was not wearing a seat belt. The driver was "perspiring, had a mild shake, and widened eyes as I approached him," the officer wrote. "I asked [him] why he appeared so nervous and he replied, 'I'm just going to the house, sir.'" The officer asked for his ID and the man replied, "Uh, it's not, it's at the house. I don't have 'em on me." The man allegedly said his name was Mantac, but pronounced it as Mantae. "To verify the spelling, I asked [the man] to spell his first name again and he replied M-A-N-T-A-C." The man added, "The, uh, 'C' is silent."
The officer noticed that a "Wendy's uniform was laying in the back seat in plain sight, bearing the name LaFran." The man admitted that his name is LaFran. He has a suspended license and a warrant for a probation violation. He went to jail.
ROID RAGE? Around 1:30 a.m. at a bar in Buckhead, a security guard escorted a man outside and told him to get in a cab and go home. The guard told police that the man refused to leave and was screaming and cursing. Ten minutes later, the man allegedly walked back into the bar, but was denied entrance. Apparently, the 26-year-old man sat down on the curb near the front door. "When he sat down, his feet went into the air above his head," an officer wrote. The man stood up and said, "Fuck you, you bald motherfucker. You were picked on in high school!"
The officer again told him to leave. The man replied, "Fuck you, pussy. I'll kick your ass, take that shit off." So the officer called for backup. The man was flexing his muscles and his fists were clenched, the officer noted.
According to the police report, the man said "Come on!" and "started to make gorilla noises while flexing his muscles." After a struggle, police used pepper spray on the man and took him to jail. The man reportedly was beating his head on the cage inside the patrol car.
FALCONS FEVER: A 43-year-old man allegedly walked into a sports store at Underground Atlanta and tried to steal four Falcons caps. "When they first stopped [him], he would only give two hats back," an officer wrote. He went to jail on a shoplifting charge.
FRIEND OR FOE? A 50-year-old man said he was trying to sleep under the bridge at Central Avenue/I-75 last month. He said a male friend started going through his pockets, and he told the friend to stop. The friend said he was "just looking for cigarettes." The man checked his pockets and realized $38 was missing. His friend took off running and but the police found him at a nearby gas station. "He can't prove I took nothing!" the friend said. "I was only looking for cigarettes!" An officer wrote, "I asked him what he had been drinking all day and he stated Hurricane Beer," which is a highly alcoholic caffeinated beer. He went to jail.
FAMILY BOND: An Atlanta woman, who lives on La Dawn Lane, said her identity was stolen. Her first clue: a letter from a bank, notifying her that her address had been changed to Long Beach, Calif. She said at least three credit cards were opened in her name. She said she immediately recognized the Long Beach address — her sister lives there.
Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.
Ben is hilarious! There were nights that I would be in a funk and then…
Wait did did you get the Christmas gifts or not yet? Writing about gun control…
Funny and interesting. Thanks.
"Stadium Love" - Metric
Ben Palmer is a funny dude. I'm saving up to buy his book someday.