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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

Around 1:30 p.m., an officer spotted a white car in a motel parking lot on Northside Drive. "As I approached the vehicle, the driver began nervously moving around the passenger compartment," the officer wrote. "I observed a machete in plain view, between the driver's seat and driver's door."

The driver, a 38-year-old Marietta man, gave police permission to search his car. The officer found about a gram of suspected methamphetamine and 48 scattered pills of generic Xanax in the car's front console. In the passenger seat, the officer found a black bag with 29 grams of suspected methamphetamine, two grams of suspected marijuana and a scale.

At this point, the man admitted that his loot was the most meth he had ever bought and claimed that he had just received an inheritance from his mother and was trying to sell the meth to make some money. The man had $2,457 on him. Police took the machete, the suspected drugs, the money and the man to jail.

Child's play: Two teenage girls were accused of using a 3-week-old baby in a shoplifting attempt at Lenox Square mall this month. According to a store manager, the teens went into a dressing room with some clothing and the infant in the stroller. When they left the dressing room, the clothes appeared to be gone and they tried to leave the store.

A security guard stopped the teenagers, who allegedly had $376 worth of clothes stashed in the stroller and their purses. Turns out, the teenagers are not related to the baby boy — one of them was the child's baby sitter. The teens went to jail on shoplifting charges.

THE RECESSION AIN'T OVER YET: Around 9:45 p.m., an undercover officer noticed a woman at the intersection of Hightower Road and James Street. "Once I honked my horn, the female approached and entered my vehicle," the officer wrote. "What's up?" the woman asked. The officer said he was looking for something quick, like oral sex. "I asked if $3 was good," the officer wrote. "Yes," the woman replied. The 29-year-old woman went to jail and was charged with soliciting sex acts. (After years of reading police reports, the Blotter Diva must note: In Atlanta, sex acts are rarely less than $15.)

Love bite? A 23-year-old man said he was in his car arguing with his girlfriend last month. "They were arguing because he was cheating on her, and he threatened to get her fired from her job," an officer wrote. The man said his girlfriend stabbed him with a kitchen knife in the leg. The man had a wound to his leg and a bite mark on his chest. The girlfriend was gone when police arrived. Medics took the man to a hospital.

DANGEROUS DONATION: Last month at a local Goodwill, an employee called police after finding a bag of bullets inside a box of donated clothes. The employee said Goodwill does not accept ammunition donations, but sometimes, bags of bullets are recovered in boxes of clothes and other donated items. "I transported the ammunition to police property," the officer noted.

ASKING FOR IT: A 44-year-old man allegedly keeps breaking the law right in front of the police mini-precinct in Little Five Points. On a recent Friday, the man sprinted across Moreland Avenue in heavy traffic. "[The man] has been issued many verbal warnings about impeding vehicles, and the safe, proper way to cross a busy street, but continues to place his safety and the safety of motorists in danger," an officer wrote. This time, the man went to jail and was charged with obstructing traffic.

STUPID MOVE OF THE WEEK: Last month, 51-year-old man said he let an unknown man wash his car windows while he was parked in a parking lot on Spring Street. The man said he gave the stranger a few dollars to watch his car while he went to court. An officer wrote, "He stated that when he returned from federal court, he found his rear passenger vent window had been broken out." Items reported missing include: a laptop computer, a camera, and a GPS system.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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