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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

A woman said a guy named "Ham" stole $500 from her apartment on Mt. Zion Road earlier this month. The 67-year-old woman said she and Ham were in a relationship and he had been staying with her. Also, the woman said on a recent Wednesday, she got a ride home from an Atlanta police officer, and Ham was there when she got home. "She stated that Ham left her apartment the next morning and she noticed that $500 was missing," an officer wrote. "She said she had $400 money order and five $20 bills. [The woman] said she had given Ham a key to her apartment, but he left it with her in the morning when he left."

The woman doesn't know Ham's real name or age.

IN HOT WATER: A 26-year-old man said he heard water running near his home on Linden Avenue, so he looked outside and saw a stranger showering with his water hose in his backyard. The man said he asked the stranger to stop bathing on his property, but the stranger refused to leave. The man said he walked outside and the stranger sprayed him with the water hose and ran away. The man called the police, who quickly found the stranger (a middle-aged man) on North Avenue and arrested him.

Grump old men: On a recent Tuesday, a man called police and said he barricaded himself in his room because his angry roommate threatened him with a knife. An officer went to the man's apartment on Callahan Street. The man said his roommate "is an old man with a possible mental illness ... who was upset and kicked in his bedroom door ... with a large knife in his hand," the officer wrote.

The officer talked with the roommate, a 76-year-old man. The roommate admitted to pulling a knife on the man, and said he was upset because the man was eating his food. Medics arrived and checked the roommate for possible mental illness. A paramedic said the roommate was fine. The man said he didn't want his roommate to go to jail, he just wanted him to get some help. Police charged the roommate with aggravated assault.

In love with a stripper? A 37-year-old man said he met a girl one night, and the next morning she got upset, hopped into her white truck and slammed into him. According to the police report, the man was drunk and said he didn't know why the woman was upset. Also, he said the woman is a stripper.

A female witness said the man had insulted the woman, and then the woman ran into him with her truck. The woman fled before police arrived. Apparently, the man wasn't hurt too badly — he refused medical treatment. Nothing further.

CALL TO UNARM: On a recent Thursday, a man called police to his home on Springdale Road. The man said he just found his old .38 Special in his apartment, which he had a long time ago. The man wanted police to take the gun away. "He stated that he bought it in 1970 and didn't want it anymore." Also, the gun's handle was missing.

The officer ran a background check on both the gun and the man — no outstanding warrants on either one. The officer took the gun, plus 17 rounds of ammunition, to police property.

STUPID MOVE OF THE WEEK: A 37-year-old man said he dropped his car keys in the front yard of his home on Hill Street. Apparently, the man went on with this day and didn't bother to find the keys. Later, the man said he was inside his house, when he heard someone start his car and drive away. "The vehicle keys are no longer in the yard," an officer noted. Police searched for the man's Nissan, but came up short.

BUMBLING BANK ROBBER? Around 10:30 a.m., a man allegedly tried to rob a bank on West Paces Ferry Road in Buckhead. The man reportedly told a bank teller that he "was trying to help the old people." He allegedly gave her a note that read: "I have a gun in my bag, I'm going to rob you." The teller replied, "Do you have to do this?" Then, the teller started waving slips of paper in the air, trying to alert someone in the bank. The suspect asked, "What are you waiting for?" The teller said she didn't have any money. The suspect grabbed his note and said, "forget it." He left the bank on foot.

Another employee said he recognized the suspect as the same man who recently robbed another branch, so he called police. An officer working an off-duty job in a parking lot spotted the suspect and stopped him. The suspect, a 23-year-old Roswell man, went to jail.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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