Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

On a recent Friday, a 34-year-old woman went to a local strip club. She said while she was there, a male dancer threw her down, and her left hip slammed into the carpeted stairs of the club. (She showed her bruised hip to a police officer.) She said she thought the dancer "was just kidding around with her when he asked her to buy a dance from him," the officer wrote. She said she kind of laughed off the dancer's request about her buying a dance, but when she tried to walk away, the dancer said something about "steroid rage." Then, the dancer allegedly grabbed her and threw her down. She said she knows the male dancer from the club and they live in the same apartment complex in Acworth. No one else saw the alleged attack. The woman plans to take out a warrant against the dancer.

Drunk and disorderly: Around 5:30 a.m., a drunk man walked into Piedmont Hospital and hopped into an empty bed. Police repeatedly told the man to get out of the bed. "[The man] was heavily intoxicated and swinging his arms in a pugilistic closed fist, attempting to strike hospital staff," an officer wrote. Apparently, the man needed to be escorted out of bed because he was so drunk. The 50-year-old man went to jail on numerous charges.

SIBLING SMACKDOWN: Police dealt with a brother-sister brouhaha last month at an apartment on Continental Colony Parkway. A 22-year-old sister said her brother got upset and angry "over hair being left in the sink." She said her brother grabbed a pipe and started swinging it at her. Also, she claimed her brother broke her laptop. The brother left before police arrived.

NEGATIVE EXPOSURE? A 29-year-old woman said she wanted to use her camera at a family function, but she couldn't find it. She asked a 35-year-old man if he had seen her camera, and he said he pawned it, but would get it out. Since then, she says, the man has refused to get her camera. He also wrote her a letter stating. "If you do anything trifling, I will forward all your nude photos of you giving me head and the videos of you showing your ass to all referee friends. I have your contacts."

Mama Drama: A 22-year-old man called police and said his mother stole his food stamps card from his mailbox. (He lives in an apartment on Campbellton Road.) An officer wrote, "When he asked his mother about the card, she stated that she didn't know anything about it." Also, the man said his mother previously stole his new credit cards from his mailbox as well. He is taking his mother to court over the matter.

There will be blood: Around 1 a.m., police responded to an alarm blaring at a convenience store on Flat Shoals Road. An officer found a pile of candy outside a hole in the store. "Inside the store, there was more candy on the floor under the hole where entry was made," the officer wrote. "The store has five cameras set up inside." Surveillance tape apparently shows a man coming through the hole and heading for the store office. "He then tries to break the glass out with a rock but is unsuccessful," an officer wrote. "He then tries to pull the office door open and also tries to pull the sliding glass partition up. ... The male walks to the candy rack and begins to load his hands [with candy] before climbing back out of the hole in the wall."

Apparently, the suspect wasn't wearing gloves — he left blood marks on the glass partition and blood drops throughout the store. Investigators collected DNA evidence from the crime scene.

PEOPLE STEAL WEIRD CRAP: A middle-aged man allegedly tried to steal $41 worth of incense from a CVS on Ralph David Abernathy Boulevard by stuffing it in his jacket. He went to jail on a shoplifting charge.

Also, at a Wal-Mart on Howell Mill Road, a young man allegedly tried to steal $55 worth of Axe deodorant. The suspect, a 22-year-old Marietta man, went to jail on a shoplifting charge. Apparently, the same man was banned a week earlier from all Wal-Mart stores when he was arrested for allegedly stealing $448 worth of stuff from a Wal-Mart in Alpharetta.

SYSTEM CRASH: An officer alledgedly backed into a woman's car, and the woman waited three hours at the scene to file a report — but other officers never showed up.

The officer admitted that he backed into the woman's car while responding to a call last month on Saint Jose Street. The officer called for a police technician to come out and photograph the scene. "We waited three hours for [the technician] and she never arrived," the officer wrote. Apparently, the woman got upset about the long wait and said, "There's no damage and I'm sick of waiting for you guys to come out and take photos." So she left.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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