Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

At a Midtown law firm, a kerfuffle broke out between two female employees. One woman said she was sitting at her desk around 11 a.m., when another woman walked up and yelled, "Every time I speak to you, you have this coughing ritual. I am tired of you and sick of it. I want you to leave me alone."

The first woman told police the only thing she'd said to the yelling woman was "good morning" two hours earlier. She wanted a police report filed against the other woman.

BOOZE ON BOARD: A woman is accused of stuffing 16 bottles of liquor inside her baby stroller (yes, her baby was inside, apparently snuggled up against the booze). The woman tried to leave a grocery store in the Edgewood retail district and got caught. She was charged with shoplifting.

DANCE SANS BRITCHES: In Midtown, a 20-year-old man wearing no pants was "shaking his butt at passing vehicles," an officer wrote. (This was at the corner of Fourth and Juniper streets.) The officer stopped the man and asked: Why aren't you wearing pants? The man replied, "I left my pants down the street." He went to jail on an indecent exposure charge.

PEOPLE ARE STUPID, PART 1: In downtown Atlanta, a man in his 20s handed a red baggie to a woman on Mitchell Street. An officer thought it might be a drug deal, so he called the man over to chat and the man darted away. The officer quickly caught the man, who said he was selling fake marijuana. He said he was putting "brown napkins inside the baggies, which had the appearance of marijuana, and people were buying it." The officer didn't buy it. He searched the man and found no weed, but inside the man's sock, there was a red baggie containing a brown napkin. Either this guy is the smartest faux drug dealer ever or his customers are the dumbest weed-seekers ever. The intrepid salesman went to jail for disorderly conduct and standing in a roadway.

PEOPLE ARE STUPID, PART 2: In Little Five Points, a 19-year-old man was hanging out in a parking lot when he decided to buy a laptop computer from two guys in a white Mustang. Except the "laptop" turned out to be a notebook binder wrapped in plastic. Here's the scam: One Mustang guy walked up and said he needed bail money to get his friend out of jail. He said he'd let the 19-year-old man "hold" his laptop in exchange for $300. The young man agreed and forked over $300 cash (and he got the Mustang man's cell phone number). In return, the Mustang guy handed over a box and drove away. The man opened the box, realized he'd been scammed, and called the cell phone number. "You've been punked," the Mustang guy said.

PEOPLE ARE STUPID, PART 3: A 43-year-old man said he met with a guy named "Mr. Cash" at a local coffee shop to talk about how to improve his credit. The man said he agreed to transfer $3,100 to Mr. Cash's Paypal account so Mr. Cash would clean up his credit within 45 days. After the money exchange, the man said he and Mr. Cash talked on the phone and texted several times, until Mr. Cash's phone was suddenly disconnected. The man wanted a police report so he could try to get Mr. Cash's Paypal account info released.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.


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