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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

Two men in their 60s were recently fighting in a Buckhead flower bed on East Paces Ferry Road. What started the scuffle? Their opposing views on abortion. When an officer showed up, a 63-year-old man was holding down a screaming 68-year-old Candler Park man in the flower bed. Meanwhile, abortion protesters were demonstrating nearby.

According to the police report, "[The Candler Park man] said he was heading to work ... when he saw the protesters. [He] said the sight of young children holding signs depicting mutilated fetuses made him sick to his stomach, and he turned his car around and parked to confront the protesters. [He] said what he did was not about laws, it was about morals."

The 63-year-old protester said the Candler Park man was "screaming at their group of abortion protesters who were legally protesting on the sidewalk, and grabbed at least three people's signs and tried to wrestle them to the ground." He said he did not intervene until the Candler Park man yanked a sign from a 15-year-old girl, "almost pushing her to the ground." Also, a 71-year-old Alabama protester said the Candler Park man called him a "damn motherfucker" and threatened to "take him down" if he didn't stop protesting.

The Candler Park man actually complained about a protester tackling him into the flower bed. He said his neck hurt, and he might have whiplash. Medics checked everyone out, and no one was hurt.

The officer arrested the Candler Park man, who really wanted to talk about his motives. He admitted that he grabbed the signs "because someone has to stop these monsters!" He said what he did is analogous to people protesting segregation. The Candler Park man added, "Martin Luther King Jr. did it, and Gandhi did it, now it's time for me to do something." Also, he said, that in his rage he might have pushed some people. He went to jail for disorderly conduct.

BAD HAIR DAY: A 21-year-old hair stylist said she got scammed into selling real human hair for fake money. She said a woman nicknamed "Cherri" asked to buy some human hair for $600. The stylist agreed to sell the human hair and met Cherri at a parking lot in Collier Heights and gave her the hair. In return, Cherri gave her 30 $20 bills. By the time the hair stylist realized the money was counterfeit, Cherri and the hair were long gone.

SPLENDOR NEAR THE GRASS: Next time you gotta tinkle at Piedmont Park, think about this: A middle-aged man was arrested in a Piedmont Park bathroom for allegedly turning it into his own porno-viewing room. An officer wrote, "As I approached the bathroom, I observed [the man] sitting in a chair with his pants around his ankles, watching a pornographic film on a portable DVD player, and fondling his genitals." The 44-year-old East Point man went to jail on public indecency charges.

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