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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

In Old Fourth Ward, a woman said she was in her bedroom when her female roommate walked in and complained about the air-conditioning being turned off. The roommate flipped the AC back on, went into the kitchen and threw the woman's food into the trash. Then the roommate reportedly called the woman a "bitch" and threatened to kill her.

Naturally, the woman wanted to know why the roommate threw her food away. In response, the roommate reportedly opened the fridge, grabbed some eggs, and started hurling them at the woman. (The eggs hit and cracked open on the woman's face and arms.) The woman said when she tried to stop the egg-pelting, her roommate pulled her hair, bit her right hand, and tried to punch her.

Eventually the woman broke free from the angry roommate. She ran to the front door, opened it, and started screaming. Her neighbor heard the screams and called 911. Cops dragged the roommate off to jail and the woman was free to turn off the AC again should she choose to.

HOLY CRAP: A 29-year-old Sylvan Hills man told police he was "shitting on the sidewalk" when two guys walked up and snatched his silver Macbook. The guy said he chased the suspects and fell and "skint [sic] his wrist on the pavement," the officer wrote. The suspects reportedly jumped into a maroon minivan. (The door was already open, the driver ready to go.)

MOM OF THE MONTH: A little something in honor of Mother's Day. A woman said she and her boyfriend — with whom she has a 1-month-old son — don't get along at all. They were arguing inside her cream-colored Volkswagen Beetle. He wanted to buy a Green Dot MoneyPak (a reloadable debit card), but she said no. She said he needs to do something for their son instead of trying to do things for other people. Her boyfriend reportedly got mad, grabbed a rock, and cracked her car window. The woman said she hopped out of the car and punched him. At some point they were "walking up the street while they each had a hold of the other's hair." The boyfriend was long gone when cops arrived. Mom wants her boyfriend arrested. Maybe she should spend more time worrying about her newborn and less time picking fistfights with her baby's daddy.

CREATIVE CRISIS: A 24-year-old woman said she was returning from Atlanta traffic court when she met a guy nicknamed "Strong." She said they immediately clicked and headed off to Strong's home. The woman said she spent four days at Strong's house, hanging out with him and his two kids. She said they were about to have sex one day, and she tried to tell Strong that she has HIV. (But she didn't actually tell him.) After four days, she wanted to leave, but Strong didn't want her to go. She pulled the HIV card and "Strong then proceeded to take her home." Somehow, she says she quickly went back to Strong's place, at which point she claims he tried to choke her. She doesn't know Strong's real name, phone number, or anything else about him.

CHECK YOUR HEADS: In Little Five Points, someone reportedly swiped four wood-carved totem-pole heads from the front entrance of a community music center on Colquitt Avenue. Not kitschy totem heads — these are worth a total of $2,500. (Great idea to leave them outside, huh?) The suspect(s) were careless and left a purple iPhone behind. While police were processing the crime scene, a caller named "Big Mark" rang up (that's the name programmed into the purple iPhone). We have no idea what "Big Mark" said ... but let's bet police track down the totem-head thieves in no time.

ROAD RAGE — DON'T MAKE IT WORSE: A 33-year-old woman was turning left off Howell Mill Road when a blue-eyed guy on a motorcycle cut her off. Angry, she honked her horn. He honked back, turned around, and followed her into a parking lot. Apparently, blue-eyed man revved his engine and drove straight at her. He reportedly "brought his motorcycle head on at her car, bumping his front tire into her front bumper." Then he reportedly hopped off his bike and yanked on her door handle, yelling at her. The woman said he kicked her car — not very hard, apparently, since he didn't even scratch it — and hopped on his motorcycle and drove away. Stupidly, the woman followed him. She chased him down I-75, trying to get his tag number. She said she followed him off some unknown highway exit "and down a dark street, where he got off his bike and pointed a gun at her." The woman slammed her car into reverse and quickly squealed away. She wasn't hurt and neither was her car. Lucky.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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