GENRE: Comedy for fans of the Jay and Silent Bob-empire
THE PITCH: The beloved Quick-Stop and video store that Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) and Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson) worked in for the last decade burns down and the two clerks are forced to find new meaningless jobs. Entering the fast-food service industry, they have plenty of time to screw with customers, intellectually debate over everything from vulgar sex acts to Star Wars vs. The Lord of the Rings, and create sticky situations (pun intended) that complicate the lives of everyone involved. This time they have help from an overly naive, geeky coworker (Trevor Ferhman) and an overly attractive manager (Rosario Dawson). As always, Jay and Silent Bob also join the fun, this time surprisingly sober.
MONEY SHOTS: In the opening scene, Dante pulls up the Quick-Stop's roll-up door only to find the store in minor flames. He quickly lets the door down in shock, only to lift it back up and find the store totally ablaze.
BEST LINE: When accused of being in the bestiality business, the Sexy Stud replies, "We like to call it inter-species erotica."
WORST LINE: Randal says to Dante, "You're my best friend. Don't leave me." The fact that this line is delivered seriously indicates how much cornier the sequel is than the original.
INSIDE JOKES: The clerks are now employees of Mooby's, a fast-food chain first created by Kevin Smith in his film Dogma.
FLESH FACTOR: In a cut scene, Jay randomly opens up his coat to expose a "mangina" -- his naked body with the twig and berries tucked away.
CELEBRITY CAMEOS: Old Kevin Smith friend Ben Affleck (Mallrats, Dogma, etc.) makes a 10-second appearance -- though, considering Affleck's career arc, this could be what passes for work these days for him.
GROSS-OUTS: Randal serves one rude customer a burger with flies and a drink filled with ice from the urinal. There is also an X-rated donkey show that is either disgusting or funny depending on how you look at it.
HIT SINGLE: No "Berzerker" from Olaf this time around, but there is a dance sequence to the Jackson Five's "ABC" that makes it impossible to stop watching Rosario Dawson.
AS GOOD AS THE FIRST?: Hell, no! It's a big-budget wannabe version of a film that should have never been duplicated. Although it certainly has its entertaining moments, Clerks II is to a satisfying sequel what working at Mooby's is to having a good job. 2 stars.