It's difficult to imagine a guy more easy-going and aw-shucks friendly than Cozmo, who greets his regular coffee shop customers with a hug. "He has that whole tattooed metal boy exterior," his nominator says, "but I bet he's a total softy." With his broad smile, full sleeves and a cascade of dreads spilling out from his cap, he could be taken for a stoner, but don't ask to share a spliff. Cozmo is straight edge - no drinking, drugs, smoking, meat or promiscuous sex. And hey, what's up with a cat-owner working at a place that's practically a doggie day care? "I see enough dogs here," he explains.
What's your standard drink?
What band were you obsessed with when you were 14?
What's your guiltiest pleasure?
Obsessive motorcycle purchasing.
What's your least favorite household chore?
Mopping. I just don't do it. It's probably gross at my house.
On which reality TV show should you be cast?
"Survivor." I'd be first off, but it'd be fun. I could say I was on "Survivor!"
What's the last thing that made you cry?
The Lion King when I was a kid. I'd probably cry again now, I'm not gonna lie.
What's the last good book you read?
I read a book by Sonny Barger called Hell's Angel about the Hell's Angels motorcycle club. That's pretty entertaining. They have much more interesting lives than I do.
What do you wish someone would hurry up and invent?
Cloning machine, so I could do this interview while somebody's working over there [at the coffee counter] for me right now.
What's the lamest pick-up line anyone's used on you?
Once, I had a girl at a hardcore show tell me she wasn't used to venues like that, so we should just go to my house because it would be more comfortable for her.
Where do you take out-of-town visitors?
Tattletale. It's an experience for everyone.
Is there a drawback to being attractive?
No, I don't necessarily think so. I get tipped well. Works in my favor.
What's the first album you bought with your own money?
Probably a Black Flag album. That's what I was into when I first had money. I probably still have it.
What's the best way for a customer to hit on you?
I dunno. They're doing pretty good at it on their own.
Who would play you in the movie of your life?
The alien from Predator. Got the hair thing goin' and it'd be more entertaining.
If you were a groupie, who would be the object of your obsession?
Immortal. They're a black metal band. I can honestly say I'm already one of their groupies.
What's the one thing you most hope to accomplish in 2011?
I'd like my Vespa to stay on for more than a few days. That'd be good. I'd like to figure out what's going on with that. Maybe get toned up or something.
What's your least favorite thing about Atlanta?
It's very cliquish. I thought people could be nicer to people they don't know, for sure. Some Southern hospitality or something.
What's the weirdest thing in your house?
A Hello Kitty toaster. It toasts her face on the bread. That's pretty weird. There's a motorcycle in my living room.
Name one thing you've stolen?
I stole paint when I was in art school 'cause I was poor.
Who's the most important person in your life?
My cat. My cat's pretty important.
What's your sexy-time soundtrack?
Can we go to Immortal again? Immortal's pretty sexy.
Have you ever been dumped? If so, what was the reason?
I got dumped by the same girl two years in a row on my birthday. I don't really know why, but ... yeah, because she was Satan. She was crazy.
What would you order for your last meal?
Probably something not vegetarian. I'd probably break that on the last minute. If I was on Death Row, probably ribs or something ridiculously unhealthy. It wouldn't matter anymore.
Name a well-regarded band you don't like?
I'm going to offend everybody. I hate the Beatles. I actually got in a fight once over the Beatles. I was at a bar and a guy said that not liking the Beatles wasn't American and I kindly pointed out that the Beatles weren't American and we got in a fight 'cause he was very angry about that.
With whom would you like to play Truth or Dare?
George W. Bush.
What's your pettiest relationship deal-breaker?
Smoking. I don't like smoking so much.
What would be the title of your autobiography?
Probably just my name. That's pretty simple, that's kind of catchy already right there. Can I just make it a symbol like Prince? Can I just change my name to a symbol? That'd be good.
What did your parents want you to do with your life?
My mom wanted me to be a heart surgeon. I'm not a heart surgeon. My dad wanted me to be a drummer because that's what he is. I'm not a drummer, either. I play bass. He got closer than my mom did.
What's your life's ambition/grandest dream?
I'd like to travel the world on a Vespa, if it would make it. I've heard stories, people have done it, sounds like quite an adventure.
What celebrity would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
There's so many! Eliza Dushku. That's a good one.
What's your preferred footwear?
I wear a lot of Vans. They're comfy and get the job done.
What's the most romantic place in Atlanta?
ParkGrounds Coffee Shop at 142 Flat Shoals Ave.
What's your wackiest piece of personal trivia?
I got a really big pirate ship tattoo for my scooter club, Land Pirate Scoot Club. A bunch of us decided that all members had to get the tattoo, but only two of us went through with it.
At what bar/restaurant would you like to have an open tab?
Green Sprout in Ansley Mall for sure. I spend a lot of money there.
What personal attribute are you a sucker for?
Lips. Good ones. I'm not too picky.
Where would you go on your sweepstakes vacation?
Australia. I hear it's a lot of fun there and they speak English, so I wouldn't get too many conflicts.
Describe your relationship to exercise.
Nonexistent. We don't see each other. We once were pretty nice with each other and then we broke up and I haven't seen her since!
Where does most of your disposable income go?
If you had to spend $1 million in one afternoon, what would you do?
I'd probably buy a lot of pleasure items I could enjoy once the afternoon was over. Big house filled with things I like. I'd buy a couple of servants to help me carry my things and people to maintain my things.
Have you ever stolen a friend's girlfriend?
What's your character flaw you'd most like to fix?
I can be a bit of a smartass. It's gotten me into trouble. Sometimes witty has crossed the line into cynical.
What silly thing are you most vain about?
My beard. I spend a lot of time on my beard, conditioning and such. My hair kind of gets stuck to it. It has its drawbacks, for sure. It just got to the point where it's started to fill in and now I'm embracing that without looking like some sort of vagrant.
Why do you think someone nominated you for the Lust List?
I dunno. I guess I'm a pretty nice guy. It was more than likely a customer.
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Govathon? More like "Work for free-athon."
lol @ smoking a bowl = "experimenting with drugs"