Cover Story: Creepy Congress

For Americans of even moderate intelligence, it is shaping up to be the most frightening Halloween ever.
As the prospect of a George W. Bush presidency looms ominously over the country like a toxic cloud of fear, other right-wing candidates, like 7th District Rep. Bob Barr, are holding onto narrow leads and threatening to subject this country to the ultimate nightmare: Republican control of both the Congress and the White House.
The very idea is more horrifying than any imaginary monster.
Bush, whose candidacy seems to be motivated by nothing more than a desire to avenge the voters’ rejection of his father in 1992, performed miserably in the recent debates — particularly the last one, in which he smirked and stumbled his way through a litany of mindless bromides. Vice President Al Gore, on the other hand, demonstrated his uncommon intelligence and a crystal clear understanding of how government works, only to be criticized as “too aggressive” by a curiously biased media. (For some bizarre reason, America’s major media outlets have elected to give Bush a free pass on his alarming inability to comprehend the very basics of governmental process.)
Barr, who epitomizes everything that is wrong with the Republican Congress, is facing the fight of his life in his re-election bid, but continues to enjoy the local media’s favor, never having to answer for his embarrassing performance in Washington and escaping scot-free from having to answer questions about his sordid personal life. Barr’s challenger, Democrat Roger Kahn, has done a yeoman’s job of bringing Barr’s disgraceful record to light, only to be ignored by a largely disinterested press.
So much for liberal bias.
It was only two years ago that the Republican party attempted to perpetrate a coup d’etat of the United States government. Under the leadership of disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, the GOP subjected this country to a lengthy and counterproductive national nightmare when it attempted to remove the president from office for sins that we have come to find out are tame in comparison to those committed by Gingrich himself. Ever since, there has been a never-ending stream of revelations that prove the hypocrisy and decadence of the right. And yet here we are, just two weeks before the elections, staring at the possibility of the electorate rewarding these moralistic charlatans with even more political power.
I’ve got to admit it: I’m scared.