Hollywood Product - D.E.B.S.

Genre: Ass-kicking teenage girl spy movie

Opens: Opens Fri., March 25.

The pitch: Think back to Pulp Fiction when Uma Thurman tells John Travolta about her brush with fame, a starring role in the pilot of “Fox Force Five.” The D.E.B.S. are like that, only they are a team of four foxy crime-fighters attending spy college. There’s Max, the sassy black leader; Dominique, the sexy French nympho; Janet, the goody-goody brunette; and Amy, the tall blonde who discovers her lesbian feelings for super villain Lucy Diamond.

Product placement: D.E.B.S. roll to school and crime scenes in a black convertible Volkswagen Bug. Lucy Diamond kidnaps Amy and takes her to a bar where they drink a couple Dos Equis. Janet comments that she has a sweater just like Lucy’s and she bought it at Target (it also comes in taupe).

Rock royalty: Jill Ritchie, who plays the pig-tailed Janet, is Kid Rock’s little sister.

Flesh factor: In Catholic school, the hemline of a plaid skirt must be no higher than 2 inches above demure schoolgirls’ knees. At the D.E.B.S. academy, a plaid skirt must be no more than 2 inches below a dangerous spy’s bikini wax.

Best line: Amy narrowly escapes making out with Lucy and returns to school with Janet, who says, “They’re calling you a hero when really you’re a slut. A gay slut!”

Pop references: D.E.B.S.’ president (Holland Taylor of “Two and a Half Men”) refers to Silence of the Lambs by shouting, “What’s that movie with Jodie? And the dog? And the well?”

Model/actress: Supermodel Devon Aoki plays the French spy, and she looks smashing when she kicks bad guys’ asses while a cigarette remains nonchalantly pursed between her lips. But her accent is less sexy than Pepe Le Pew’s. Fortunately, she only says about five lines.

Mandatory Montage: There’s a music montage of Amy and Lucy’s lesbian hook-up set to the tune of New Order’s “Temptation.” But get your mind out of the gutter: This is a love story. The only thing they eat is ice cream. If you want hot and heavy girl-on-girl action, see a porn.

The bottom line: This spy flick is campy enough to be bad, but it’s not bad enough to be campy. Bad girls, however, may be the new bad boys. Image ?Image ?Image ?Image ?Image