Head Case 

When I was in college, I knew this guy who would buy the Weekly World News each and every week to pore through the latest news on Bat Boy, Elvis and those sphincter-obsessed extraterrestrials. He knew it was all bunk, of course, but the stories gave him a break from heady texts on ... well, I don't remember his major, so let's say he was studying Hegel. Actually, yeah ... he became an international authority on Hegel, but you've never heard of him because, in a dialectic gone horribly wrong, he contradicted himself out of existence.

That was fun. Writing a fake bio, I mean. But what if it turns out that the lies that come out of your head as you make up the news involve bowling with human heads, a woman whose makeover transformed her into a human skull, and a head that spontaneously detached from a woman's body while she slept? Tom D'Antoni, author of Rabid Nun Infects Entire Convent, became ever more alarmed by what came out of his head when he worked as a rather prolific "journalist" for the Sun, main competitor to the Weekly World News in the fake news market.

"The methods I used to get to people are almost exactly like those used by Nazis, Commies, and many contemporary U.S. politicians and news networks," writes D'Antoni. "It's the big lie concept: The bigger the lie, the more they'll believe it." He then goes on to lay out seven rules for telling big lies.

And they were all lies. D'Antoni broke that true news on "Oprah," though he also says that many readers actually believed what he wrote. Wow. Maybe there's something to the "Dreaded Brain-Eaters' Disease" after all.

Rabid Nun collects D'Antoni's "favorite" stories from his Sun days, weaving them together with his (allegedly) true narrative of how he got into the business, the horrors that popped out from his brain once he did, and how he finally got out. (I don't want to spoil the ending, but it involved a specialized application of dark matter brain-wave reciprocators that Einstein's been working on in the Bermuda Triangle.)

Rabid Nun Infects Entire Convent by Tom D'Antoni. $13.95. Villard. 108 pages.



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