Hollywood Product: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

GENRE: Frat pack fueled used car movie

THE PITCH: When Selleck Motors is on the brink of closing, owner Ben Selleck (James Brolin) seek salvation from the industries’ go-to man Don Ready (Jeremy Piven) and his maverick sales team. Ready guarantees he can “sell the metal” — selling every car on the lot over the Fourth of July holiday weekend to stop Selleck’s rival from taking over.

MONEY SHOTS: The flashback sequence as Don Ready describes to love interest and lot owner’s daughter, Ivy Sellers (Jordana Spiro) what happens in ‘Querque — an unfortunate event marked with cameos from Will Farrell, Gina Gershawn, some dildos and oh yeah, a tragic death. The moral of the story — ass beats friendship every time.

BEST LINE: “I know your type — It’s a thrill of the hunt, you crave it, you corner it… let me ask you a question — do you know what to do when you catch it?” quips Ivy Selleck, daughter of the troubled Selleck Motors after hearing one-too-many lewd comments from Don. Ready replies, “… Are we talking about pussy?”

WORST LINE: “I feel like I’m watching a true wonder of nature. Like a blue whale giving birth, or a pig going down on a hyena,” proclaims Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames) watching Don Ready is about to make the final car sale.

SCENE STEALERS: Team Ready’s Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames) as the no nonsense, smooth-talking sales manager who wants to find true love and nympho, über-cougar Babs Merrick (Kathryn Hahn) make Piven’s Ari ... I mean Don Ready’s antics bearable.

FLESH FACTOR: Ready’s meeting room of choice is the local strip joint. Breakfast is severed at the stage just beneath the pole dancer. Tough decisions are best made during lap dances. During the strip club sequences, expect to see some nice tit and ass shots but that’s as far as it goes. Although it’s not actually a nude scene, Ben Selleck (Brolin) does sport a hefty boner when thinking about Don Ready’s right hand man, Brent Gage (David Koechner).

POP REFERENCES: During the hotel check-in montage, we see how each member relaxes while watching television. While some watch Pay-per-view porn, Newsome (Rhames) flips to Dawson’s Creek in which he says, “Dawson’s Creek — James Van Der Beek…my nigga!” Selleck motors is the proud owner of a Firebird Trans-Am cars from the Smokey and the Bandit movies. The car towers over the lot as a lure for used car shoppers. Paxton Harding (Ed Helms) asks Ready to Google his band Big Ups, his “man band” — they opened for O-Town.

MUSIC MISSIVES: The sales team spends some bonding time doing a little “Okee”, that’s karaoke for us laymen, and beat up some 80’s tunes, The most memorable song being the acoustic duet, “More Than Words” by Extreme. Don Ready tries to woo the crowd by belting out tunes from Bob Seager in more than one occasion — he fails miserably. There is one original song in the mix though, “Doin It” by self-proclaimed man band, Big Ups (Ed Helms, Bryan Callen, Joey Kern). The song and their moves are so pathetic it’s unexpectedly funny.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Neal Brennan does The Goods producer Will Farrell proud with yet another dick flick for the year. It is funny at times but overall feels more like a series of comedic skits with punchy one-liners strung together but missing some much needed glue to hold it all together. The overuse of the now all too common archetypes this genre has created unfortunately overshadow the few standout performances seen throughout the film. Jeremy Piven does prove he’s able to deliver as a leading man, but it’s hard to overlook how much this character resembles the role of agent Ari Gold from HBO’s “Entourage” — the only difference is the wardrobe.