Jessica Rabbit is the fire-haired, curvy vixen from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Jessica Rabbid is the petite, ginger-haired stripper who dances on Tuesdays and Fridays at the Clermont Lounge. The main difference between the two — outside of the obvious cartoon/human distinction — is that Rabbid sometimes sets her nipples aflame. Here, she gives us her five personal "bitches" about strip clubs.
1) Tip or get off the bar: "You get people out there at the bars that'll be sitting there screaming, 'Oh, take it off! Take it off!' And they're not giving you any money ... It's like 'What? Am I doing this for free?'"
2) Mensa membership not required, but come on, dude: "[This guy] was standing at the ATM trying to put a $20 bill in the ATM and asked me where [he] could get change. And he was standing in front of the ATM, two seconds from a bar."
3) Keep an open mind: "I went to [a local strip club] one time, and [one of the dancers said], 'I don't dance for girls.' And I was like, 'At a strip club? What?!' I've met more lesbians than anywhere else — well, except for My Sister's Room."
4) Just say no: "Fuck, have a Red Bull. That's a lot better for you than coke or anything else."
5) Mix it up: "I'm sorry, but ... not every single guy wants a Playboy model. Guys love variety. Everyone loves variety, so why are these strip club managers so stuck on this one image?"
I'm pretty sure he was 19.
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