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Karma Cleanser 

Your column has me accusing my friends of a world of sins

Karma Cleanser:
For more than 10 years during my marriage I cheated on my wife with men. We have since divorced (eight years ago) and are on very good terms. Do you think my 10-plus years of cheating is causing me bad karma as far as finding a husband after my divorce goes?

-- Cheating Heart

A decade of infidelity doesn't exactly make for problem-free husband-hunting later in life. Good terms or not, you need to make sure your ex has forgiven you for dicking around, and find out if there's any wounds left untreated from the fiasco. Most importantly, it sounds like you also need to forgive yourself.

Karma Cleanser:
I really like this guy, but he was born during the Nixon administration. I barely made it out of the womb in time for Morning in America. Does this mean we'll be sexually incompatible?

-- Strange Bedfellows

The Karma Cleanser hopes your means of communicating with Mr. Tricky Dick are far less cryptic than your question. But anyway, to use another political example, be like Bill Clinton and don't let a little thing like age stop you.

Karma Cleanser:
I find myself reading the words of other wrongdoers on this page and forever trying to figure out the people behind the pseudonyms. My friends are now all adulterers, liars, whores and cheats. I accost them with, "Was this you trying to trick me into dating some other guy?" or "How could you do that and not tell me?" It's a vicious cycle, and I fear that I've become just as lowdown and dirty, sullying my karma by no longer trusting those near me.

-- Paper Chaser

Sounds to us like a classic case of projection, seeing the worst of yourself in those around you. Your karma isn't affected, but your friends are getting damn tired of dealing with your prying. Get a life.

But in the meanwhile, the Karma Cleanser smiles on devotion to this column. Keep reading, oh paranoid one!

Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to karma@creativeloafing.com, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.

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