I went through all this alone -- physically, emotionally and financially. My "soul mate" didn't care. A year has passed and I still can't even go on a date, afraid of being used again. I feel like all I was to him was a place to live, someone to foot the bills and a wet place to put his dick. Please tell me that karma won't let him get away with this!
-- Po', Broke and Lonely
The Karma Cleanser marvels at how quickly we let others make macaroni of our lives. Let this dark episode remind you that love at first sight is a Hollywood-fueled hoax and your first priority must be to yourself. Yes, karma will eventually catch up with your fast-talking ex. Meanwhile, get your revenge by getting out of the house and dating again -- on your own terms.
My best friend is driving me crazy! "Lisa" is constantly going from one "crisis" to another. She always asks me for an honest answer, but she gets mad when I give it to her. Lisa's latest problem (there are so many) is she's cheating on her husband. She wants me to take her side in the sideshow. I told her that what she's doing is lowdown and scummy. Well, she got mad and hung up the phone. I haven't heard from her since.
I'm wondering if I should try to talk to her or say, "Fuck it" and toss this 10-year friendship to the cosmic winds.
-- Over her hang-ups
Leave Lisa to make her own mistakes. If the friendship is meant to last, the cosmic winds will deliver her back to you, along with a reminder of why you were friends in the first place. Otherwise, you've at least learned a lesson about your tolerance for drama.
Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to email@example.com, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.
Because they are super-duper horny, of course.
Hoping he cleaned his pooh hammer before hand