-- Bad vibes
This bad aura is doubtlessly the product of your "lying and ungentle ways," and perhaps explains why deadbeats cling to you. We suspect that you create most of this negative energy yourself. If you really do have a heart, dust it off now and prove your sister's prediction wrong.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
My boyfriend doesn't have a j ob. He just sits around watching old Westerns all day. He's been working on a screenplay for the entire time I've known him, but he won't let me read it.
As a way of getting even with him for being so lazy and to force him to show me this script, I told him that my friend had pitched his screenplay idea to another friend who is a movie producer. He got all excited and is now putting the finishing touches on the script. He says he will let me read it before I pass it on to the producer friend. I know that I'm going to get caught in my lie, but I feel like it's worth it to get him working again. What do you think?
-- Shooting him down
Your scenario sounds like a screenplay itself, except in the movies the boyfriend's script would somehow land in a real producer's lap, bringing fame and adulation to the writer and forcing him to forgive the conniving girlfriend. In real life, however, you're risking everything to satisfy selfish curiosity. Lighting a fire under your boyfriend's ass is one thing, but ruthlessly toying with his dreams will only burn you in the end.
Get right with the universe. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Because they are super-duper horny, of course.
Hoping he cleaned his pooh hammer before hand
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