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Karma Cleanser 

Date or faux-date?



Dear Karma Cleanser:
I met this girl on a chat line. We talked for several months ... without seeing each other. There was always some problem on her side. I should have seen the signs that this was wrong, right? Of course not, I'm an idiot. I let this ride until my birthday. She stood me up and I haven't heard from her since. I called her and when I did someone hung up the phone. I had put so much effort in her because my year overall has been shitty, and when she pulled this last stunt, I was so enraged that I wrote her a rather mean letter. It included statements such as "Fuck you," "Eat a dick, dyke bitch," and "I can see why your ex-boyfriend slapped you around." Should I worry about karma kicking my ass for this letter?


-- The idiot


Your situation is all too familiar: Boy chats with girl. Girl disses boy. Boy spews terroristic threats. Your lesson: Don't settle for anything less than a real date, which should involve forced dinner conversation, shared movie popcorn and an awkward end-of-evening "should I kiss him/her?" moment. So first, enroll in an anger management class, and second, get out there and start meeting women in person.



Dear Karma Cleanser:
My first car was a Chevy Spectra. I lost that one when my husband drove it (after I told him not to) to pay a bill and it got impounded. My second car was an '88 Maxima; it lasted a year-and-a-half. One day I told my husband to check the oil, he said he would when he got back from work. He never made it to work. Something happened and a cam broke. Our third car was a '92 Gallant. This was "his" car, the car from hell. In January someone hit my husband and a month later, the Gallant broke down near our home; hours later it was broken into and the seats were stolen. The next day it was gone. Last month someone hit my husband in the Camry I bought in April. I have to have a car but I'm scared to get another one. I used to think we had bad carma, but now I think it's just him. How do I make it stop?


-- Carless


The clear culprit here is your husband. We wonder if there isn't a broader theme of him wrecking your life in general. When you do get a new ride, don't let him borrow it, don't give him a lift, don't even let him look at it. Eventually his debt to the driving deities will be paid. Until then, let him walk.

Been bad? Send the universe an "I suck" letter. karma@creativeloafing.com.

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