Boy, did we get some feedback! Advice-givers urged Clueless to do everything from joining the Democratic Party to moving to Iraq. All who responded get a double scoop of good karma for the week. Here are our three favorite answers.
And if you're feeling a deja vu vibe,let us clarify your confusion. Due to a printer error, Karma Cleanser did not appear in our print edition and we didn't want anyone to miss out on the results of our contest. If the universe allows it, we will have brand-new problems and advice for you.
-- The Karma Cleanser
Dear Clueless: You've done absolutely nothing wrong, so you don't have to undo anything. We all face crisis in our lifetimes. We all meet an all-time low at one point or another. Humans were created with our faces on front for one reason: to look ahead of us, not to look behind. Focus not on what has happened in your past. Instead, look forward to seeing what you can do to make your life better than ever before. For every obstacle, there's another ounce of strength to gain.
Dear Clueless: I got laid off this year. I don't think it was bad karma -- I think it was holy intervention. A good friend of mine kicked me in the ass and said, "Create your own reality." And I did. It's been three months and I'm working in a wonderful new job, surrounded by people who appreciate me, and applying for grad school. Try thinking positive and see what happens. Find accomplishment and achievement where you didn't think you were able. Taking the good advice of a friend, or a stranger, may be the best karma-producer of all.
And our favorite response:
Dear Clueless: Karma is a big wheel. Sometimes it takes awhile to come around (and sometimes you've got to give it a little push). You say you worked, paid bills, raised two daughters alone, and didn't blow cash on yourself. Have you had any fun? Get busy living or get busy dying. You need to make some changes on you. You'll find the money is secondary. Keep up your job search, sure. But I have one word for you: plastics.
Get out your credit cards and go to Sharper Image and splurge on yourself immediately. Get a vibrating shiatsu foot-rubber or a home-theater system. Go out for drinks, buy a nice woman drinks, ask her out. Go on a Hawaiian vacation, or be on "Survivor." Get away from your computer for a while. Try giving a little to a charity each month. Even though money is tight, that money will come back to you, I promise.
-- Indulgence Is Good
Next week: Sick puppies and sins galore, we promise. Been bad? firstname.lastname@example.org.
Because they are super-duper horny, of course.
Hoping he cleaned his pooh hammer before hand
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