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Karma Cleanser 

Dear Karma Cleanser:
I moved to another city to be with a new love. Three months later, it hasn't worked out -- he's a sex addict and a general mess. He's also sweet and smart and a lot of things I truly admire and adore.

I told him last week that I was leaving. But I drove my rental truck to his work -- instead of to the apartment to pack -- and made up with him. Things were sweet for 24 hours, but I really started to notice his oppressive need and manipulation. Even my apparent degree of density has to realize that he's not well, and that I won't be either if I stay.

I can't go through the tears and recriminations of the breaking-off again. I feel that faking happiness for a couple days while I arrange for another truck, and then sneaking out while he's at work, is the only way to save us both the agony. Trying to explain my feelings to him is no help, and would just be wasted energy and misery for us both.

Do you see bad karma in my soul-saving skullduggery? And if so, which brand of cleanser should I use?-- U-haul Eugene

Ducking out while your man's at work may sound like the cowardly option, but we say do whatever it takes to escape this tender trap. Any bad karma caused by such skullduggery almost certainly won't be worse than the misery of staying in a dead-end relationship. As Paul Simon pointed out, there must be 50 ways to leave your lover. Just get yourself free.



Dear Karma Cleanser:
I'm wondering if I am going to hell for making fun of all these Honda boys that put oversized mufflers and huge wings on their cars. Do they really believe these options transform their little economy cars in to full-fledged racecars? I understand a four-cylinder can be made to go fast; I've seen a couple import drag races. The other 95 percent of them boast all bark and no bite.

It's not just the kids; there is a guy in my apartment complex who has an S2000 that he parks sideways, taking up two parking places. My car costs just as much as his and I park correctly. I could understand if he had a Ferrari or something nice, but the S2000 is just a Honda. Am I being too judgmental for laughing every time I see one of these guys thinking he is all that?-- Park It

If making fun of poser drivers will land you in hell, then even the Karma Cleanser is bound for damnation. Your neighbor, however, deserves a special chamber in Hades for taking up two parking places.

Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.

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