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Karma Cleanser 

Dear Karma Cleanser:
OK, this is a complicated story, but you need all the details for the ending to make sense. Maybe nine months ago, I was out at a party with my homeboy Dave, and he pointed out these two girls he knew from college. One of them, who we will call Liz, immediately caught my eye because she was so hot. Her friend, who we will call Bizarro Liz, looked a lot like Liz but she was, um, not as hot. Dave and I proceeded to get drunk with these two girls, to the point that I actually blacked out and had to be taken home.

The next day, Dave told me that his friend liked me. Good news, right? Wrong. It was Bizarro Liz (BL) who had the crush, not her hot friend. Dave had given her my phone number at the party. She called me twice, but I never returned the calls.

Now, several months later, Dave and I went to another party and -- surprise -- we ran into the same two girls. Only now, BL had totally lost weight, gotten a better haircut and was wearing this sexy outfit. She gave me hell at first for not ever calling her back, but then started to warm up to me. I spent the whole party drinking with both girls. That is, until I sort of passed out again and had to be taken home.

The next day, I had new voicemail. The caller said she had fun with me the night before and wanted to get together. Unfortunately, she didn't leave her phone number -- and I'm not sure if it was Liz or BL, because it could have been either one.

Is this some kind of negative karma coming back to haunt me for not calling back BL months ago? How can I save face and still get the girl?-- Call Me Back?

Sounds like you're a lame date to start with, so maybe this is actually karma coming back for your rampant binge drinking. Consider it a sign from the universe that you need to stop imbibing to the point of blacking out -- which is never pretty -- and a hint that maybe you should invest in Caller I.D.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
I'm living with a roommate who has one whole wall of our dorm room plastered with Jennifer Aniston. Magazine clips, photos, posters, you name it. I told him that he's taking this thing too far. He says it's just part of his personality. My question is: Does such an obsession classify as quirky fun or stalker weird?-- Questioning My "Friends"

Stalker weird, no question.

Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.

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