Karma Cleanser - January 22 2004

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I’m not very superstitious at all, and I do not waste a lot of time reading into things that are probably just coincidental. But I have noticed a trend that is starting to really freak me out. The horoscopes that run in your newspaper lately have been scarily accurate about my life.

First it was a small note about meeting a new friend who would affect my soul. Sure, enough, that person came into my life just a few weeks later. Next it was a suggestion to rethink my role models, which also came true in an unexpected sort of way. Last week there was something about trying to do the impossible. It also came to be oddly accurate just a few hours after I read the paper.

What’s going on? -- Concerned Cancer

The Karma Cleanser used to work at a daily newspaper (perish the thought) and we remember fondly one occasion when the (incompetent) editor of the weekly astrology report accidentally mixed up all the entries. The beleaguered copy desk frantically plugged in the unsorted projections as best they could. The next day, an unknowing co-worker spouted that her Leo entry was too true for words. Poor woman.

Having said that, we should also admit that we read horoscopes religiously and have found some damn near revolutionary insights in those spare lines of vague aphorisms. Our point is this: When the universe decides to speak to you, you can’t help but hear it. Maybe it comes through a throwaway astral report, maybe it comes through a throwaway ethics column (ahem). Whatever the source, you’d best listen.

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I’m helping my friend, who is away for a month, by walking her dog every day. The dog really isn’t much trouble, but having access to this friend’s house is about to get me into trouble. I find myself doing terrible things, like sorting through her mail — though not actually opening it — looking in her medicine cabinet, flipping through her address book that was left open on the desk, etc. I haven’t actually done anything wrong yet, like digging through the closet, but I do feel extremely guilty for snooping around like this. I never expected this kind of behavior from myself and I’m afraid some bad karma will come of it.-- Digging Up Bones

Any time a friend surrenders the keys to their home, they probably expect a certain low level of snooping. Your karma will be fine so long as you don’t push the prowling too far. Consider it fair payment for taking care of the pooch.

Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.