It's been a year, but I have not been able to connect with her in a loving way. My level of trust is at an all-time low.
I can't believe that I don't have the ability to embrace and love another child (whom I sought). I feel she is here for a reason, but I can't get past this mental block. I think it is more of a cycle than anything else. I'm afraid that I am creating bad karma because of this "lack of" relationship.
I fear that someone is going to feel the same about my biological daughter and the thought kills me. People have noticed and commented on the difference in treatment of the two kids.
Why can't I get over this hump? Am I creating very bad relationship karma by my lack of acceptance and trust? Help!
Needing to love and heal
You speak of this child as if she were a possession, a new geranium in your garden. But an 11-year-old (who probably comes from troubled circumstances) deserves better. You can't expect the relationship to mature prematurely, any more than you can force a seed to sprout. That doesn't mean give up. Rumi says, "Keep knocking, and the joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who's there."
Dear Karma Cleanser:
I've been have really terrible travel karma lately, and I'm starting to think it might not be my fault. First was a flight that got delayed for no good reason, even though the airline's Web site told me beforehand that it was on time. I got to the airport an hour early and had to sit for three more hours until the departure. When the plane landed, we had no gate. We sat on the runway for another half hour. The flight back was even worse. We boarded the plane on time, but then sat on the runway for more than an hour waiting to take off. Surely the airline knew that we would not be able to fly out on time, so why not let us wait inside? There are other stories I could tell, but it appears to me that a lot of this B.S. is coming from one particular carrier, whose name rhymes with Belta Bearlines. I am a member of this airline's miles program, which makes me use them more than any other carrier. Can a company accrue bad travel karma and then pass it along to its unwitting customers?
We've had our share of shitty service from, um, Belta as well, but sources tell us that travel travails happen just as often on other carriers. Yes, a company's bad karma can impact its customers, and over time those travelers should get smart enough to spend their coin elsewhere. The Karma Cleanser doesn't claim to be clairvoyant, but we do foresee a major cosmic rebalancing coming soon to this obviously troubled industry.
Because they are super-duper horny, of course.
Hoping he cleaned his pooh hammer before hand