Karma Cleanser - April 26 2006

Will Karma come back to bite me?

Dear Karma Cleanser:

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I enjoy reading your column each week, even if I don’t always agree with the things you write.

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In November, I started a new job. The new position came with some good perks, like a signing bonus and a larger yearly salary. I noticed the change immediately with my first paycheck, which was even more than I thought it would be.

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In February, after receiving six or seven paychecks at the new place, I started to wonder if something was wrong. My checks were still very large, but by then I’d already received all of the bonus spread out over the first two checks, so it didn’t make much sense. I didn’t say anything, nor did I do the math. I didn’t want to know if the checks were right or wrong.

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Now it’s March and I am starting to believe I need to bring this issue up with someone. I did the math (finally) and found out the new company has overpaid me by about $7,000 since November. Before I point out the error, though, I need to know: Would it cause me bad karma not to say something? Technically it’s the company’s fault, so why should I suffer over their screw up?

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—Rolling in It

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Run, don’t walk, into your company’s accounting office. The payroll problem may appear to be in your favor, but your loyalty (and ethics, and common sense) will be called into question should the firm find the error first. Plus, this is a win-win for you: It’s a chance for you to show you’re one of the good guys just a couple of months into the new job. There’s no price tag on sucking up.

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Dear Karma Cleanser:

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My girlfriend was reading my text messages on my phone, and I didn’t know about it. She found out about a lot of bad stuff: money I’d spent on blow, a trip I took to L.A. last fall that she didn’t know about, and a date I had with a Spanish supermodel. (OK, maybe she wasn’t actually a “supermodel,” but that’s what my friends called her.)

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My girlfriend didn’t dump me, but she’s not speaking to me. I say it’s her own fault because reading someone’s private text messages is a damn dirty invasion of privacy. I told her that every time she invaded my privacy, bad karma would come back to haunt her. She says I’m retarded. Who’s right? (P.S.: We live together in a one-bedroom apartment, so there’s no way for me to ignore her silent treatment.)

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— Red Hot Fingers

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You’re retarded. Lying about your secret life of jetsetting to Hollywood with coked-up Eurotrash homewreckers does not a healthy relationship make. Keeping a record of your indiscretions just a couple of thumb-clicks away is even worse. We don’t know enough about your home situation to comment, but it’s pretty obvious to everyone that you’re going to have that one-bedroom all to yourself soon if you keep up the shady business.

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Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.