Dear Karma Cleanser:
While out arrogantly celebrating the growth of my personality, I looted a penniless man on the side of the street. I stole his cane. Although the exact details of the robbery are a blur (Maker's Mark), the sight of the old man's cane in the front seat of my car sparked enough of a memory to horrify me. How could I do this to a man already broken by life? Haunted by my actions of the previous night, I shamefully went to return his cane. Thankfully a friend recognized him and led me in his direction. So is that it? I returned the cane. Have I made my amends? The poor old man ended up a meal and two packs of smokes richer. Do you think it is going to come back and bite me on the ass or is there something like the 10-second rule pertaining to karma?
Marked for Vengeance
You did good by returning the cane and giving the old guy nourishment, even if inching him closer to lung cancer mitigates your rewards. But a hot bag of burgers won't fix the arrogance behind your original larceny. If your "personality" really is growing (whatever that means), let's hope this new you includes a switch for humility.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
My roommate came down with a virus and was sick for several days. This happened during finals week at school. She had to flunk out of her classes, and I also had to miss a final to take her to the hospital. Finally, her mother arrived. By then I was already behind in all of my classes. When I got my grade report, I couldn't believe that I'd earned high marks in every class. Later, I found out that my roommate's mom had called the dean of the college and told him I'd been taking care of her daughter, so I ended up with better grades than I would've had before. I feel guilty now, because I didn't take care of her expecting to get paid back for it.
Kudos to you for caring. Guess this doesn't do much to disprove the old "if your roommate dies, you get all A's" urban myth, though.
Been bad? firstname.lastname@example.org.
Because they are super-duper horny, of course.
Hoping he cleaned his pooh hammer before hand