Dear Karma Cleanser:
I read with great interest the letter from "All Mixed Up," the husband who was thinking about leaving his wife and wanted to know how to avoid bad karma for doing so. I was in a similar situation myself just last year. My husband of six years started seeing a woman in his martial-arts class. Next thing I knew, they were living together and I was left to care for our two children.
I started seeing a therapist who gave me the advice to let go of the past and just to "bless my husband and his journey." That was exactly what I didn't want to do. But I tried it. I told my husband that he could still be part of the kids' lives and that I wished him well with his new girlfriend, even though I really wanted to throw her off a cliff.
Well, I guess the good karma came back to me. A year later, the woman left my husband and also wrecked his credit in the process. He's now on the verge of declaring bankruptcy and begging me to take him back. And of course, I love to see him beg. I am still not sure what to do, but I do think things would have not turned out so good for me had I been a vindictive bitch when this whole thing started.
– The First Lady
Does "blessing his journey" include taking visceral pleasure from seeing him suffer? Oh, who are we kidding? Let the guy grovel, then give him another chance. Perhaps being drop-kicked by the other woman was exactly what your ex needed to see the good thing he lost.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
One week ago, I received a chain letter in my e-mail box. It said, "If there is someone you loved (or still do) and can't get them out of your mind, forward this letter to someone in another city within five minutes. Tonight between 1 and 4 a.m. they will remember how much they loved you as well. You will get the shock of your life tomorrow. Karma is real, just believe."
Knowing that I still had feelings for someone I knew in high school, I did as the letter asked. And sure enough, the next day I heard from a friend that my former flame was single again.
Is this really a sign from karma? What do I do next?
– Been Through the Ringer
Karma isn't luck, nor is it God. It's more like gravity, a force that keeps the universe in balance. We're not saying that the chain letter couldn't carry some message from the cosmos -- stranger things have certainly happened -- but don't get karma all mixed up in your superstitious spam filter. If your old crush is single again, shoot him an e-mail. No forwards allowed.
Been bad? email@example.com.
Because they are super-duper horny, of course.
Hoping he cleaned his pooh hammer before hand