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Laughing matter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

PARTY GIRL: An officer dealt with a 23-year-old woman passed out in the back of a car at Collier and Peachtree roads. The woman's friend said they had been drinking at a concert venue on West Peachtree Street and at some point, the 23-year-old woman got very sick, so they called a friend to pick them up. On the way home, the 23-year-old woman reportedly vomited and defecated on herself, so her friend stopped at a gas station to check on her and call for help. Medics took her to Piedmont Hospital.

Later, the officer followed up with Piedmont Hospital. The officer said he talked to the 23-year-old woman's father, who said she was OK now and she had been sick before going out drinking. She was awake at the hospital and laughing with friends, according to the police report. No visible injuries reported.

LONG, STRANGE TRIP: On Lenox Way, a caller said people working in his house robbed him. Before police got there, the caller relocated to a grocery store on Peachtree Road. Then, other people called police about a suspicious man banging on car windows and trying to enter cars near the store. Police found the suspect, a 17-year-old youth, behind the store. "As we were giving chase, [the suspect] turned around towards us and fell down," an officer wrote. The youth allegedly resisted arrest and shoved officers, who tried to subdue him with pepper-spray. But the youth reportedly kept thrashing around on the ground. "He appeared to be under the influence of a drug and was stating that he wanted to 'get some girls' and repeated the word 'computers' and "let's go on vacation' and numerous other words out of context," an officer wrote. "He also continued to shout out for us to shoot him." He got cuts on his face, arms and legs, as he thrashed around on the pavement, an officer wrote. The youth allegedly said he had taken LSD earlier. He went to Grady Memorial Hospital.

SOMETHING FISHY: A man said at least two suspects took a 400-gallon fish aquarium from the back yard of his home on Martin Luther King Drive. Police found the aquarium behind a nearby home on the same street. Police arrested two men. "They both made impromptu statements stating that they thought the aquarium was abandoned and no one owned it," an officer wrote. But the aquarium had been "clearly behind a residence with parked cars, which indicated that someone lived at the residence."

NO SCOUT BADGE FOR MOM: A 50-year-old woman said she parked her gold Chrysler Town & Country car on Richardson Street around 10:30 a.m., and went to work. She said the car was gone when she returned around 5 p.m. She said her car has a bumper sticker that reads "Follow a Girl Scout, We Lead the Way" and brown duct tape on the front left headlight. The woman said she leaves all her important information in an overhead compartment in her car. This includes her ID, credit cards, her and her children's Social Security cards, medication and equipment for her diabetes.

GRUMPY OLD MAN: At a gas station in Buckhead, a woman said an older man (about age 70) wearing a dark, ill-fitting suit walked up while she was pumping gas. She said he asked for $50 to buy an alternator. According to the woman, he said, "I need the $50 now, bitch." The woman said she was afraid for her life, and she handed over a $50 bill. She said the older man and a younger woman got into a gold Lincoln Town Car driven by a younger man (age 30ish) -- and went north on Peachtree Street. The woman gave police the tag number for the gold Town Car.

DETERMINED BOOZE HOUND: At a nightclub on Alco Street, the manager said someone knocked a hole in the roof, dropped down through the hole and stole $4,200 worth of alcohol during the night. "It appeared the suspects used a cinder block, knife, fiberglass-handled hammer (this item broke during the incident) to knock the hole in the roof," the officer wrote. "Once down on the ground, the suspects stole a trash can from the business next door to carry away the alcohol." Some tools were found in another trash can. The nightclub does not have a surveillance system or an alarm. But apparently, the Waffle House across the street has a surveillance camera pointed at the nightclub. The Waffle House manager said he would have to contact the main office to pull the video.

BIZARRE BIRTH: At Grady Memorial Hospital, a security supervisor and a security guard said they found a placenta with an umbilical cord attached to it in the hospital basement. "They did not find the mother or the child, " an officer wrote. "There were no indications that the birth occurred in the basement." The officer added, "Grady security conducted a search of the entire basement and did not locate anything out of the ordinary."

THE HONEYMOON'S OVER: A 29-year-old woman said someone stole 17 packages of wedding gifts from outside her home on Defoors Walk. She said all 17 packages were shipped from a Bed Bath & Beyond in New Jersey. The woman said she specifically told the shipping company not to deliver the items until she and her husband returned to Atlanta. But, she says, the shipping company put all 17 packages in her driveway, in front of the garage door, while she was gone and a neighbor confirmed the theft. She had records showing the delivery date and item shipping numbers.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.

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