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Lazy lawmen 

A 38-year-old single mom lives with her daughter in the Cherry Blossom community. The mom was at work when her daughter called and said that all the stuff from their apartment was sitting in the front yard. The mom raced home to her Stone Road apartment and discovered most of her belongings in the front yard — by the time she arrived, someone had stolen a few things: the woman's 52-inch plasma TV, PlayStation 4, $200 cash, and most of her clothes.

The woman talked to her neighbor, who said the sheriff's department came to the apartment and alledgedly started a forceful eviction process. According to the neighbor, the uniformed officers entered the woman's apartment and began removing all of the items. "The neighbor then stated the [police] realized that they were at the wrong address — so they left the apartment with all the woman's belongings still outside," an officer noted.

MILK IT FOR ALL IT'S WORTH

A 27-year-old new mom from the suburbs parked her car in Little Five Points and went to dinner. When she returned she realized someone had smashed out the passenger window of her gray Honda Civic. Items reported missing: a breast pump (valued at $400) and a pink Victoria's Secret bag filled with a sexy lingerie set.

REVENGE FROM THE REAR

In the West End, a 77-year-old woman said she recently evicted tenants at her rental home on Gardenia Street. After the eviction, she said someone damaged the home's wall, door, and tile flooring. The reporting officer noted, "There was also dog feces smeared all throughout the home."

PARTY HOST MIRAGE

In the Glenwood Park neighborhood, cops received a call about a possible burglary in process at an apartment, so they rushed to the scene. A 28-year-old man (and party host) said that just moments ago, he was in his bedroom and heard the front door being kicked in. The man said he left the bedroom and saw two strangers dressed entirely in black, carrying guns and stomping around his kitchen. He said one stranger pointed a gun at him, so he ran back to his bedroom and called 911. Nothing was stolen, but there was heavy damage to the man's front door.

From the get-go, the man's story sounded fishy to police. Yes, the front door was in tatters, but the living room was filled with "a lot of beer cans, multiple red empty cups, a case of opened liquor bottles and a man sleeping on the living room sofa (who stated he didn't hear anything)," cops noted. Plus, 10-15 inebriated people were hanging out near the door. An apartment security guard walked up and whispered to a cop, saying the 28-year-old party host likes to host booze-soaked parties. A rowdy partier probably tangled with the door.

STONED BEYOND HOPE

In Downtown Atlanta, a cop pulled up to police headquarters on Peachtree Street. In plain view, a stoned 21-year-old guy was sitting on "the steps of police headquarters, where there are 'NO Sitting' and 'NO Trespassing' and 'NO Loitering' signs posted," the cop wrote. In his right hand, the man clutched a "blunt cigarillo" commonly used for rolling marijuana.

The officer walked closer and took a whiff. "I smelled a strong odor of raw marijuana coming from his person." Upon spotting the uniformed cop, the 21-year-old voluntarily began to empty out his pockets. "I saw [him] reach into his back left pocket and retrieve his wallet and hand me his Georgia ID card," the cop wrote. The man "gave me his wallet and I felt a bulge in his wallet." Inside the man's wallet the officer found a small bag of suspected weed, so the cop tried to handcuff the 21-year-old. "He began to resist by snatching away and refusing to give me his hand," the officer wrote. Then the man put both of his hands under his chest and stretched out on the steps to dodge the cuffs. Quickly, the cop cuffed the stoner and took him to jail. Probably the easiest marijuana bust in APD history — on the steps of police headquarters.

LONELY DREAMER?

In Buckhead, a 32-year-old woman said she was snoozing in her apartment when she had a weird dream featuring "a noise sounding like someone was breaking in." The woman said she woke up and sat on her couch for a long time before she decided that she really should go check her windows in case the noise she heard was not a dream. When she checked, a window screen was missing. (Nothing else was disturbed or stolen.)

The woman called 911 and said she's worried that one of her neighbors might be trying to break in since this is the third time her window screen was stolen. A cop looked around but found that nothing in the apartment was disturbed. Perhaps cut back on the Ambien?

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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