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Lust List 2013: Jennifer 

Job: Stylist/display artist/sales trainer, the Clothing Warehouse

Age: 24

Relationship status: Single

If you're looking for something more ecstatic than the hot-pink gloss painted on Jennifer's lips, try the words that exit them. She admittedly has a penchant for saying "the most random-ass things that make people feel uncomfortable." And when she's not using dialogue to provoke a reaction, the Clothing Warehouse stylist/trainer uses ceramics. Her specialty? Figurative sculptures of women coming out of the wall. "And 'coming' is a pun," she says of her artwork, "it's like they're coming." But her grandest dream is to spread her love of ceramics and sculpting to as many students as possible. The title "fine arts teacher" could take on a whole new meaning.

What's the last good book you read?

I don't read books [laughs].

What do you wish someone would hurry up and invent?

An iPhone app where the girl has those vibrating pearls inside of her. And then her boyfriend, or whomever she wants, can push the button from their phone and it starts vibrating and you're just like, 'Oh, someone's thinking about me.' I think that should happen, so someone do that.

What's the lamest pickup line anyone's used on you?

Someone brought out a mirror. I don't even know what he said because once he brought out the mirror and started saying the pickup line I just went dead. I was like, "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

What's your sexy-time soundtrack?

It changes. Because sometimes you want it slow and then sometimes you want it fast and hard. But for the most part I think the Postal Service is pretty good.

Have you ever stalked someone on Instagram?

I've gone on Facebook to see things about them to make my decision as to if I should answer a call or not [laughs]. Research, yeah, I'm very studious.

What's your own character flaw you'd most like to fix?

I guess the biggest character flaw that I have would be saying whatever's on my mind — and it's pretty random. I've gotten better at thinking about it before I say it, but sometimes words just come out — I have this weird way of playing with words — and it just comes out ridiculous.

What do you like best about your job?

My favorite thing is trying to figure out how to talk to crazy people when they come in, cause it's like you have to get on their crazy level or you can't sell them anything.

What's your standard drink?

My standard drink is always vodka tonic with two limes. And if they don't give me two juicy limes, I have to have more.

What band were you obsessed with when you were 14?

I forget their name. I just remember I went to Germany that year and I'd be hungover listening to them in my headphones. I don't listen to them anymore. But it was like the best hangover music ever.

What's your guiltiest pleasure?

Well, I don't usually feel guilty about anything because I usually confess afterward. But I guess things that trigger that feeling would be flirting with someone and then being like, ahh, I don't even want to be in a relationship. Then you feel guilty, cause you're like I just did that and now they want it and I don't want it.

What's your least favorite household chore?

Vacuuming. Because my dog barks at it and I can't go anywhere. She tries to jump on it. Something that should take 15 minutes takes me an hour. I guess I could put her in her cage but it's kind of fun.

Describe your relationship to exercise.

I dance all day long when I listen to music. I don't really work out. I think I worked out a lot when I was younger and now I'm just like, fuck it until I get old and I have to.

What's the last thing that made you cry?

The other day my grandmother got put into hospice and stupid me went to visit her by myself with nobody there, so I just lost it.

What movie would you most like to live in?

Well, the only movies I really like are Disney movies. So I would have to say maybe The Little Mermaid.

What's the first album you bought with your own money?

When I started really listening to music, Napster was around; sorry to say. So the first one I actually bought might have been the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Jupiter/Mars CD [Stadium Arcadium].

What's the best way for a customer to hit on you?

I don't know. I kinda just blow it off anyway and half the time I don't even know if someone's hitting on me or not. But it makes me wanna sell them more stuff. 'Cause I know they're into me so I can just get them to spend a lot of money. It's like gold from that point.

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

I guess I would say Cameron Diaz would do a good job playing me cause she's tall and she's athletic. And I have tumbled, and I know she can tumble. And if she got my haircut she would probably look like me. And she's kind of quirky and awkwardly funny, so I think she would do a good job.

What's the one thing you most hope to accomplish this year?

I hope to open my own vintage store in Seattle. The majority of my family lives on the West Coast and my sister just got married. Her husband's older so I assume she's gonna pop a tot soon. So I kinda wanna be out there.

What's your least favorite thing about Atlanta?

The continual homeless population and the train hoppers. They just sit in front of your store and beg for money. And you're like, "Do you not see I'm working? I'm trying to make money and you're just sitting here doing nothing and wanting money?"

Is there a drawback to being attractive?

Yes. The majority of girls don't like you. You can go into a room and all the girls give you snarky looks. You have to basically make jokes about maybe yourself or something in general that makes them laugh or feel comfortable or they just don't trust you. I figured out at a certain point that it wasn't worth it. It's just weird.

Name one thing you've stolen.

Well, I work in retail. I never steal.

Who's the most important person in your life?

The most important people are my parents and then my dog. She's a shepadoodle, so she's really big and curly and exactly like me but in this dog form. Awesome.

Have you ever been dumped? If so, what was the reason?

I don't think I've ever been dumped legitimately because we weren't technically together. But he was like my best friend, so I don't know. No.

What's your pettiest relationship deal-breaker?

I really can't do smells really well. But everyone has their own smell to them, so I guess you're attracted to someone's smell. But if I'm like, aww, you just stink really bad, it's kinda sad.

What would you order for your last meal?

I would order a whole Oreo cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory, and of course I would eat it all. And I would probably have some fettuccine alfredo, too. Those are my faves. I'm really cheesy.

How much would you charge to murder a stranger?

I don't know if I could murder someone, but if the laws changed, maybe. Less for an awful person and more for a nicer person.

How do you handle rejection?

I handle rejection by going back and making them like me. If they don't, I find some way to make it so that they do or are semi-OK with me so that I don't have weird stuff going on.

With whom would you like to play Truth or Dare?

I would like to play Truth or Dare with my sister because we are completely different and we know nothing about each other. It would be interesting.

What did your parents want you to do with your life?

My parents have always wanted me to be me and do what makes me happy. And I do that.

How often do you talk to your mother?

I talk to my mother multiple times a day. Even when I haven't lived in Atlanta, I would call her multiple times a day. We're really good friends.

What's your preferred footwear?

My preferred footwear is always heels. They just make your butt look better.

What's the most romantic place in Atlanta?

The most romantic place in Atlanta would have to be horseback riding through the streets. I went on a date the other night and it was like the most romantic thing ever. I wish we had more of a connection, but I was having the most romantic time with myself. I was like this is just amazing [laughs].

What's your weirdest recurring dream?

I've had this dream since I can remember. I'm 6 years old in the dream and I'm driving my mom's station wagon. It's just me and my cat Tiger Lily and I'm driving him to a vet. All of a sudden this dragon comes out of the woods and leans down and I feel my heartbeat. Then I just drive past it. And instead of going to the vet we end up at Chick-fil-A, and then the car rolls backward and crash and I wake up. It's the most weird — I don't know how all this is connected.

What personal attribute are you a sucker for?

I am a sucker for funny people that can keep me entertained.

Where would you go on a bucket list vacation?

I'd probably go to Germany. I have a lot of family there that I haven't seen and it's near Hungary.

Not counting rent or bills, where does most of your disposable income go?

Art supplies and clothes.

What's your life's ambition/grandest dream?

I want to just teach art forever, so to have a studio where I can teach people and have more ceramic space. Because there's not really that many ceramic studios where people want to help you.

If you had to spend $1 million in one afternoon, what would you do?

I would fly and pick up my friends from everywhere, and then we'd kind of just decide from there. We're pretty good about spontaneous decisions and I think it should be a group thing.

Have you ever stolen a friend's boyfriend?

I haven't technically stolen anyone's boyfriend. We weren't really friends. It's still bad. I had to go to therapy about it cause I felt guilty. I can't feel guilt. It's like the worst thing for me. I have to be stress-free and that's the most stressful thing.

Why do you think someone nominated you for the Lust List?

I would assume I'm an all right person. I asked someone about it. I was like, "Do you think I'm pretty?" And he was like, "Nah, you're all right" [laughs].

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