Lust List 2014: Alphonzo 

Job: Co-owner, Boxcar Grocer

Age: 39

Relationship Status: Single

Before moving to Atlanta two years ago from the West Coast, Alphonzo admits to subsisting on a sketchy diet of "good food, booze, and late nights." Since opening the health food corner store Boxcar Grocer with his sister Alison, his indulgences are more civic-minded. But juggling double-duty as president of both the Castleberry Hill Neighborhood Association and the neighborhood's Merchants Association leaves little time for Alphonzo to play. The tall, bald, quick-witted bachelor often chooses to spend Saturday nights alone enjoying Pizza Hut and a movie rather than plunge into Atlanta's nightclub-heavy social scene. So what kind of woman does he dream of when he's not rereading Gabriel García Márquez novels or binge-watching Vlad TV? A fashionable one, of course, preferably with freckles. Or a lisp. Or both. — Rodney Carmichael

What do you like best about your job?

I like that I have the opportunity to serve my community in a positive and healthy manner. And I like that we get to make a real clear difference in people's lives.

What's your standard drink?

I've changed it recently; it's whiskey neat.

What band were you obsessed with when you were 14?

De La Soul.

What's your guiltiest pleasure?

I have two guilty pleasures. One would be Pizza Hut pizza on a Saturday night by myself watching movies, and Vlad TV.

What's your least favorite household chore?

Cleaning the bathroom.

Describe your relationship to exercise.


What's the last thing that made you cry?

My father's passing 11 years ago.

What's the last good book you read?

I basically read and reread Gabriel García Márquez's novels. His works just really move me — magical realism and whatnot. Love in the Time of Cholera is probably my favorite.

What do you wish someone would hurry up and invent?

Flying cars.

What's the lamest pickup line anyone's used on you?

I don't think anyone's used a lame pickup line on me. Women don't use lines, they just say hello.

What movie would you most like to live in?

That's a funny question. Mo' Better Blues.

What's the first album you bought with your own money?

I think it was Michael Jackson's Thriller.

What's the best way for a customer to hit on you?

I guess they can ask me where the eggs are.

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

No one, cause I can imagine it would not be green-lit.

What's the one thing you most hope to accomplish this year?

I actually have two things I hope to accomplish and they go hand in hand. And that is the further development of Castleberry Hill alongside the growth of the Boxcar Grocer.

What's your least favorite thing about Atlanta?

I can't walk everywhere.

Is there a drawback to being attractive?

I guess so, but you'd have to ask an attractive person.

Name one thing you've stolen.

Maybe a heart or two.

Who's the most important person in your life?

My sister.

What's your sexy-time soundtrack?

God, I'm old so it would probably include something with Jodeci.

Have you ever been dumped? If so, what was the reason?

Yes. Maybe I wasn't interesting enough.

What's your pettiest relationship deal-breaker?

Non-fashionable women.

What would you order for your last meal?

My mother's fried chicken and biscuits.

How much would you charge to murder a stranger?

[Laughs] That is a horrific question. No matter how you answer that question, you just come out sounding like a crazy person. I guess zero; I would hope I wouldn't have to.

How do you handle rejection?


With whom would you like to play Truth or Dare?

With someone who has nothing to lose.

What did your parents want you to do with your life?

Live it fully.

Have you ever stalked someone on social media?

Not legitimately. One of my other guilty pleasures is I'll go through Facebook and look at old girlfriends and catch up with them visually.

How often do you talk to your mother?

According to her, not enough. Once a week.

What's your preferred footwear?


What's the most romantic place in Atlanta?

Besides my place? Any place dimly lit.

What's your wackiest piece of personal trivia?

I will go on record and publicly say for the first time ever that I have three fetishes and those are women with freckles, braces, or lisps. It can be one or all three of those.

How did that start?

I don't even want to know how that became part of my psychological makeup.

What's your weirdest recurring dream?

I'm always being chased.

What personal attribute are you a sucker for?

A fashionable woman with freckles, braces, and a lisp.

Where would you go on a bucket list vacation?


Not counting rent or bills, where does most of your disposable income go?


What's your life's ambition/grandest dream?

To do whatever I want.

If you had to spend a million dollars in one afternoon, what would you do?

I would spend it on something that would make myself and the folks that I care about happy.

Have you ever stolen a friend's girlfriend?


What's your own character flaw you'd most like to fix?

I'm bad with money.

Why do you think someone nominated you for the Lust List?

They thought I was someone else.

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