The Blotter: Mad dad

Cops received a call about a fight in the Lakewood area. A 27-year-old woman claimed her father punched her face during an argument. Police spoke with the father, 49, who said he was bipolar and did not punch his daughter. The father was “very upset and making unbelievable comments and references,” the officer wrote. “This led me to believe [he] was not mentally stable.” According to the police report, the man said he’s “the leader of the KKK, he was a Fulton County Superior Court Judge, [and] he was a billionaire in the music industry.” The daughter had no visible injuries. The cop arrested the father and took him to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

Strip-down in Midtown

In Midtown, a 28-year-old man was “taking off all his clothing and running into the parking deck with only his underwear on,” an officer wrote. Cops grabbed the nearly nude man and tried to put him in a patrol car. “He began to raise his voice ... and stiffened his legs in an attempt to remain outside the vehicle,” the officer noted. “Myself and the extra job unit had to force the accused into the vehicle by carrying his legs and placing him into the car.” The man, who hails from Stone Mountain, went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

Strange vibrations

A blue suitcase making a humming noise freaked people out at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. A baggage handler said that as he removed the blue suitcase from the carousel he heard a “vibrating” sound coming from inside. He notified his boss, who immediately called 911. Cops and TSA agents rushed in and the area was roped off until the luggage could be cleared. A police officer brought his K-9 German shepherd in to sniff the blue suitcase, but the dog did not smell anything unusual. “The baggage was still vibrating,” the cop noted. Fire crews and bomb techs arrived and slowly examined the suitcase. According to the police report, “It was determined that the vibrating sound coming from the luggage was a toothbrush.”

Smart-ass stroll

In Buckhead, a thin man reeking of alcohol was walking in traffic on Pharr Road. A cop responded to deal with the wanderer and waxed poetic in his description of the unsteady man. The cop wrote, “While standing still, the male’s upper body was swaying back and forth, like a tree limb in a strong wind.” The cop asked the man for his ID. “The male slowly and with deliberate effort, patted himself twice and then stated he did not have his license,” the officer wrote. During arrest, the cop patted him down and found his Georgia driver’s license, wallet, and cell phone in his coat pocket. Apparently, the man had been warned earlier to stop strolling in traffic. Another cop said that a few hours ago, he asked the same man what the heck was he doing in the middle of the street. “Being an asshole,” he replied. The man, 23, was charged with “pedestrian under the influence.”

Frugal traveler

A man was accused of swiping whipped cream and yogurt from a hotel near Turner Field. When cops arrived, the man was casually eating breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Surveillance video apparently shows the man sneaking into the kitchen, grabbing a can of whipped cream, and squirting cream into his coffee. Also, the tape shows the man taking a cup of yogurt from the restaurant’s kitchen. A police officer asked: Are you a guest in this hotel? No, the man said, he’s just passing through on his way to Charlotte. The man hails from West Palm Beach, Fla. Apparently, he’d been hanging out at the hotel for several days.

Decorum discord

A Las Vegas man demanded a police report about the dress code at a Buckhead restaurant. The man said the restaurant manager asked him to remove his hat before dining at the restaurant, but he refused. The manager said it was a standing policy for all patrons to dine without hats and pointed to a sign posted at the entrance. Outraged, the Las Vegas man called police. A cop dutifully went to the restaurant and wrote a report about the incident. The cop told the Las Vegas man this was not a crime, but a civil dispute that he could take up in court.

Breakfast of champions

In the Lindbergh area, a police officer saw a silver car run through a red light on Piedmont Road. The cop pulled the car over and spoke with the driver, a 40-year-old Norcross woman with watery eyes. The cop asked her how much she’d had to drink. The woman replied, “A few Bloody Marys this morning at 9 a.m. for my retirement.” The woman refused to do any field sobriety tests, saying, “Take me to jail or give me a ticket, because I am not taking any test.” The cop took her to jail on a DUI charge.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.