Oh, crap 

On Foundry Street, a married couple had a problem with their 21-year-old son, who recently returned home to live with them. One morning, the outraged husband called the wife at work, yelling because the son "let his dog take a crap" in their bed. The husband whipped out his cellphone, photographed the poop, and sent the damning photos to his wife. Confused, the wife rushed home to confront the son. Mother and son got into a verbal spat — nothing physical happened — and the mom called police because she was fed up with the son.

An officer arrived and noted the dog dung. The mother said she wanted the son out of her house for one night. The son agreed to stay at his girlfriend's place until things calmed down. Apparently, the son has an odd way of showing appreciation for free room and board.

Drama queen

A 36-year-old Atlanta man said he's an ex-producer for a reality TV show about hot Atlanta singles. He said he received a bunch of weird phone calls after he got fired. The ex-producer claimed he worked alongside a local university to produce the show. After losing his job, the man said he was "denied access to [the school] to take the footage that he recorded for the show," the officer wrote.

"[The ex-producer] feels like the show may end up being a huge success and for the past six weeks, he has been receiving phone calls. [The ex-producer] stated that an unknown male has been calling him, asking for his name and Social Security number. [The ex-producer] stated that the male recently began to have a hostile tone of voice. Also, he feels like someone from the production has been stalking him at home and videotaping him at his house. [The ex-producer] feels that his life is in jeopardy. He advised that no one has directly threatened him, but he fears for his safety."

The ex-producer wanted to file a police report even though he didn't have the names of any possible suspects.

Balls o'plenty

On the Westside, a 29-year-old man went to a bar and proceeded to get into an argument about sports with four other guys. The 29-year-old said he was drunk and so were the four men. Apparently, the sports spat heated up and all five men stepped outside the bar and continued arguing. The 29-year-old said all four men ganged up on him and pushed him, causing him to fall down the driveway. He said he calmed down on his walk home and his adrenaline subsided. Then, his arm started hurting. At 3 a.m., he went to a hospital and discovered his right arm was broken. Now the 29-year-old man wants the bar to pay for all of his medical bills. Good luck with that.

Just shut up

At around 1:30 a.m., security guards at a loft complex in Downtown called the cops about a raging noise problem. Guards said residents in a third-floor loft were making a ruckus and bothering neighbors. "I walked with security up to the apartment and could hear two people talking loudly — from where I was standing in the hallway," the officer wrote. The loudmouths opened the door and promised to quiet down, but not before one of them put his foot in his mouth.

"Security had no right to call, we haven't done anything," complained one resident, a 22-year-old man. The officer said that he heard the disturbance from the hallway, and security just wants the noise to stop with no one arrested. The 22-year-old turned to the security guard and said, "You need to get a life, bro. Get some lotion. You all up on us for no reason, go masturbate or something." Shut up and go back inside your apartment, the cop ordered. The defiant 22-year-old turned it up a notch, and "became even louder," the officer noted. "Get some lotion, bro!" he hollered at guard. The cop arrested the 22-year-old man, who made things worse by giving a fake name and birth date.

All the man had to do was shut up. Instead, he went to jail and was charged with disorderly conduct, obstruction, and lying to police.

Dumb people and money, part 1

A 19-year-old woman told police she always keeps $180 in cash wrapped in a towel in the bathroom. She recently spent one night away from her apartment on Northside Drive. When she returned the next morning, she said she looked inside her cash towel and $40 was missing, so she called police. An officer offered to try to lift any fingerprints in the bathroom but the woman said she'd already touched everything in there. No suspects and no signs of forced entry.

Dumb people and money, part 2

In the Adams Park neighborhood, a 36-year-old man said a guy from the "U.S. Grant Department" called him and said he won $8,400. Apparently, the faux official told the man to send $230 on a Green Dot Card so he could get his winnings. The Atlanta man complied and sent $230 to the department's so-called address: "WI USA." Then, the faux official called again, saying the man needed to send $500 — and this time, he'd really get the $8,400. Dutifully, the Atlanta man sent $500. Days passed. No word of any money. Eventually, the faux official called a third time, asking the man to send $899 to get his winnings. This time, the Atlanta man realized he'd been scammed.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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