It was the perfect excuse. When better than Tues., June 6 -- aka 6/6/06 -- to not go out and just publish a bunch of lies? I could just say the devil made me do it. And, anyway, I believe sloth and deceit rank pretty high on the list of deadly, or at least difficult-to-cure, sins. But I couldn't do that to you, my dark minions. I felt it was my duty to report firsthand on what 6/6/6 really meant: heavy metal and scanty panties.
The week began in the bowels of Beelzebub ... or MJQ/the Drunken Unicorn as we say here in the South. Arriving at the witching hour, at first I thought I walked into an Italian seance the way the crowd for Savannah's sludgy howlers Kylesa tried to ward off the evil eye. But then someone explained they were just "throwing up some metal."
And the satanic rite for which the capacity, crowd-surfing, beer-chucking audience was most frenzied? It wasn't the female blood wrestling; it was a not-so-secret secret show by local metal beasts Mastodon. The band's performance previewed material from the grinding quartet's upcoming Blood Mountain, and served to loosen up muscles prior to an upcoming tour with Slayer. One new track, "Circle of the Psysquash," is like Mastodon's equivalent to Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills" with its taut riff rampage.
Speaking of Iron Maiden, 6/6/06 also saw the premiere of a tribute to Maiden's 1982 full-length, The Number of the Beast, at 7 Stages. On Friday, I caught the musical, featuring Maiden's songs sewn together with a dark ritual-and-redemption plot line by Shane Morton, Liam "T.D." McKaharay and Rob Thompson. And I'm proud to say it confirms one of the long-standing theories I tell myself when I'm alone in the shower: Singing in falsetto will eventually get you consumed by demonic whores. Sex-drenched, tattoo-covered demonic whores. Of course, I was a little disappointed that 666 women in lingerie weren't on hand. But the few who were present writhed with gusto as Sammy Hagar, Danzig and, well, actually, Lucifer look-alikes took attendees on a tour of Gangland and cried "hallowed be thy name."
As additional proof that sinners can be winners, on Sat., June 10, Mastodon drummer Bränn Dailor and guitarist Brent Hinds joined the Little 5 Points Rockstar Orchestra (known for its staging of Jesus Christ Superstar), for a post-show performance of Maiden's "Wrathchild."
Talk about deadly sins, envy's a bitch, and for those who weren't there, I bet she's biting your ass. Right. About. Now. Hail Satan!
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