Service to humanity: A blast to a past when all songs were refreshingly familiar
If this club were a movie: The A Night at the Roxbury guys try to teach the Revenge of the Nerds cast how to pick up women -- and succeed
Fashions torn from pages of: 30-year-old issues of GQ and Vogue
Preferred poison: A fishbowl that holds the equivalent of five drinks, $14
What you need to get laid: Dance lessons from John Travolta
Music: "YMCA" twice. In an hour.
Coming from: Watching Austin Powers
Going to: Bellbottoms
3771 Roswell Road, 404-233-8026
Service to humanity: For those whose dancing days didn't end with the first gray hair
If this club were a movie: Dirty Dancing meets Cocoon
Fashion statements: Animal print pant suits, golf shirts
What you need to get lucky: Good merengue moves
Parked in front: Cadillacs, Buick LeSabres, the odd Mercedes.
Male/Female ratio: 3:2
Cleavage quotient: Refreshingly modest
You'll only find it here: Elvis' red jumpsuit behind glass
Music: Chris DeBurgh's "Lady in Red," Kool & the Gang's "Fresh," Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman."
Coming from: Home
Going to: Bed
5840 Roswell Road, 404-255-7571
Service to humanity: As yet undetermined
If this club were a movie: Coyote Ugly meets MTV's "Real World" with casting by Jerry Springer
What it takes to get in: $5 (does not include penicillin)
Prime attractions: Miles of bare midriffs
Fashions torn from pages of: Guys: Field and Stream, girls: Frederick's of Hollywood catalog
What you need to get laid: Pick the right ass and it's yours
Cleavage quotient: Bustin' out
Male/Female ratio: 7:3
You'll only find it here: "Rate your Rack" contest
Music: Quiet Riot's "Cum on Feel the Noize"
Coming from: Frat house
Going to: Commit sin
3067 Peachtree Road, 404-995-0064
Service to humanity: Exit Atlanta, enter L.A.
If this club were a movie: Less Than Zero with a twist of The Last Days of Disco
Lamest pick-up line: "So, are you only a techno dancer when you're rolling, or what?"
What you need to get laid: Drugs in your pocket, and a girl on each arm
Coming from: Mango's
Going to: Uranus
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