The Blotter: Out on a limb

In the West End, a 53-year-old woman was walking to a grocery store when she had an eerie experience. A flash of toes poking out from a pile of dirt caught her eye. Peering closer, the woman saw “an object resembling a baby foot in the dirt” that was freshly plowed outside a home on Ralph David Abernathy Boulevard. She proceeded to move toward the object, picked it up — ick! — and rushed to the grocery store. Frantic, the woman clutched the foot and called police.

“[The woman] said she was very concerned because she thought a baby could have possibly been buried at the location,” an officer wrote. Police and a medical examiner rushed to the scene and carefully examined the foot. The medical examiner “determined the object was a white porcelain baby foot, not human remains.”

Theater of the absurd

In East Atlanta, a woman said a man loaned her $8,000 two years ago to invest in a theatrical play she wrote, and now he’s threatening and harassing her. According to the police report, “The woman stated the play — the show — didn’t go well and as a result, they lost money.” The woman said she recently called the man twice, promising that she will eventually pay him back. Apparently, her calls did not appease him. The woman said the man called and left the following message: “I’ve been praying and fasting and the Lord said that you are using my name in vain and I know men and you should be aware that if you don’t pay me back by Nov. 24, 2013, your life would be at risk.”

After the phone call, the woman said she received a text message that read: “If I were you, I would follow these instructions: ‘THE BLOOD IS OFF MY HANDS SAITH THE LORD.’ Be aware, November 24.”

Evil disciple

At a Buckhead middle school, staffers found graffiti scribbled on the boy’s bathroom wall. The graffiti: A triangle, with a circle inside, with the following words inside the circle: “DEATH TO THE SCHOOL IS NEAR!!”

Costume: Bitchy Hello Kitty

In East Atlanta, a woman in a gray Hello Kitty T-shirt pointed a gun at a man and his girlfriend, who were parked two spaces away from Hello Kitty’s white Honda Accord in a parking lot. She allegedly threatened to kill the girlfriend and repeatedly jabbed her gun in the man’s chest. (WHY? We have absolutely no idea.) Also, she tried — and failed — to break the back windshield of the man’s car. Then she walked upstairs and vanished into an apartment on Flat Shoals Avenue.

Police arrived and talked to the Hello Kitty gunslinger — a 27-year-old woman. She had a black bag with a gun and 100 rounds of ammo in her apartment. Hello Kitty girl refused to explain what set her off or why she pulled out her gun. The officer handcuffed her and arrested her, then the officer noticed, “The interior lights of the Honda Accord were on. I went to her and asked if she would like me to turn off the interior lights of the Accord. She said no. She said that it was just a rental car that she was using while her Mercedes was in the shop.”

Gucci fears

“My baby momma is gonna kill me,” a 29-year-old man said after he was stopped at a Northside Drive roadblock. The cop asked to see the man’s driver’s license. “It’s not fair, my license is from out of town,” the man replied, handing over his Illinois state ID card — not a driver’s license. The cop asked him again for his driver’s license. “He flipped through his wallet, which from the outside appeared to be a Gucci wallet,” the officer wrote. “It’s not fair, it’s not fair!” the man repeated.

The man — reeking of booze — admitted he had a few drinks at a nightclub on Piedmont Avenue. A computer check revealed that his Illinois driver’s license expired in January 2011. Also, the computer check revealed that the man’s car is actually owned by a woman in Rolling Meadows, Ill. The man said this woman is the mother of his six children — and he’s in big trouble, because he doesn’t have the money to get the family car out of impound so his six children won’t be able to go to school. (They just moved here from Illinois.)

The officer arrested him for suspected DUI and put him in the patrol car. The man “was not making sense” and kept repeating himself and focusing on his one massive fear, the officer noted. “While in the back of my patrol car [the man] asked multiple times if he was going to be locked up with the Atlanta rapper Gucci Mane.”

Slimy on the floor

In Poncey-Highland, a woman was walking down an aisle of a grocery store when, suddenly, she slipped on something wet. She twisted her ankle in the tumble. Sitting there on the grocery store floor, the woman realized she had slipped in a puddle of chicken blood. (Apparently, the chicken blood had leaked out from a package of chicken thighs.) Of course, the woman also had chicken blood all over her clothes after her fall.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.