As the holidays approach, it's important to recognize that there's more to celebrate than just Christmas. Here's a brief look at some of the season's most endearing and enduring celebrations.
Christian holiday originally designed to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. It has since morphed into an ultra-commercialized wet dream for multinational corporations.
Watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
Overcooked roasted turkey, canned ham coated with an enigmatic glaze and (you know you love it) fruitcake
All Christmas participants are expected to purchase and receive gifts, but children receive the majority of presents -- which usually take the form of brightly colored, cheaply made stuff advertised on TV.
Evergreens trimmed with glass bulbs and colored lights are de rigueur, but some folks go nuts and spray their windows with a white substance that's supposed to simulate frost. Of course, that always seems like a bad idea come January when you have to scrape the shit off.
"Jingle Bells," "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"
Santa Claus, Jesus
Jewish holiday that commemorates the victory of the Maccabees (led by Judah) over the Hellenistic Syrians in a revolt that took place around 165 B.C.
Hanukkah begins on the Hebrew date of the 25th of Kislev and lasts eight days, through the 2nd of Tevet. It's confusing for gentiles, so they're relieved that it begins on Christmas Day this year.
Lighting eight candles displayed in a fancy candelabra called a menorah; it's best to do this before downing six shots of Manischewitz.
It's traditional to eat foods fried in oil during Hanukkah, but that doesn't necessarily mean heaping helpings of mozzarella sticks and jalapeño poppers are in order.
People typically give the most welcome gift of all -- gelt (money).
A menorah should be displayed near a window for all eight nights of Hannukah. A fire extinguisher should be displayed 10 feet from the menorah.
"Ma Oz Tsur," traditionally sung after lighting the Hanukkah candles, followed by "She's a Yamakah Mama (at Hanukkah Time)."
Non-denominational holiday introduced on episode No. 166 of "Seinfeld." Created by disgruntled character Frank Costanza as an alternate celebration for the "rest of us."
Only two rituals actually take place during Festivus: the Airing of Grievances, where you tell your family all the ways they have disappointed you over the last year; and the Feats of Strength, which tests a patriarch's strength against a different friend or family member each year.
At Festivus dinner, you can eat whatever you want (the Costanzas usually serve spaghetti).
No gifts are exchanged during Festivus.
Instead of a tree, a long, silver, hollow pole is to be displayed in the home.
In the book Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us, Allen Salkin suggests singing songs like "Gather 'Round the Pole" and "So Good You Do Not Smell."
Secular holiday created in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga as a time for African-Americans to focus on the Nguzo Saba, seven African values: Umoja (unity), Kujichagulia (self-determination) and Ujima (collective work and responsibility), among others.
Dec. 26-Jan. 1
Kwanzaa participants gather together and concentrate on one of the Nguzo Saba for each day of the celebration. Fun, eh?
Black-eyed peas, sweet potatoes, greens, okra, curries, sesame seeds and corn grits
Instead of toys and crap like that, Kwanzaa participants give books. FYI: Racy chick-lit books by authors like Candace Bushnell are frowned upon.
To get your house in the Kwanzaa mood, display items such as a Vibunzi/Muhindi, ears of corn that reflect the number of children in the household. FYI: Frozen corn doesn't cut it.
People are encouraged to sing the official Kwanzaa Song, which features deeply poetic lyrics like "Kwanzaa is a holiday" and "Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa is an African holiday."
"It's definitely a heart of our quirky and awesome neighborhood and a destination for people…
"Parks are run by cities not metropolitan areas." No, parks are run by city governments…
Do I understand correctly that due to the "proactive" commitment to affordable housing on the…
Considering that Georgia has great difficulty teaching school children to read, write, and add, how…
I went to the quarterly briefing last night and several points that are mentioned in…