DAY 1
Neal Pollack: I'm coming to Atlanta April 4. Doing a gig at Criminal Records with Jamie Allen, JS Van Buskirk, and others. And on April 2 I'll be playing the Chunklet anniversary party in Athens. Opening for David Cross. Begin publicity shitstorm ... now!
Michael Wall: Either I or Tray Butler, the guy who wrote that piece on JS Van Buskirk I sent you, will be writing a piece about your visit to Criminal. We're still fighting over who writes it and hopefully do the interview. The dust should settle soon. Also, you should know since we may be working together, I never had to take the SAT because of my MENSA connections. However, if I did take it, I would have gotten a perfect score. Or at least a 647.
NP: Your credentials are impressive. I look forward to a very productive relationship. You and Tray may fight for the right to cover my revolution, but I trust that the winner will produce a strong piece of journalism, not just a lengthy fannish blurb. Make me look smart and cool, but also kind of like an idiot, since I kind of am one. OK. I'm through manipulating you.
DAY 2
MW: It is with thunderous, Zeus-like authority that I tell you, I -- not Tray, the guy you've never heard of -- will be doing the most comprehensive story on Neal Pollack that Atlanta has ever seen! And I must also proclaim that I've been asked to interview you, though maybe we should wait until I figure out what I'm going to write about. Hmmmm ... Neal Pollack is coming to Atlanta. So what? I can't write just that. Probably only 5 percent of our readers have ever heard of you (no offense, Atlanta ain't a Mecca of free-thinkers, though they do exist in guarded cliques). So, I'll definitely need to introduce you to them, your books, your website, show them that you're funny, cool and kind of an idiot.
NP: I think that's almost enough. The live shows are ALWAYS fun, and that should be a draw. Always carnivals. If you do a Google search, you can find descriptions of various live shows. If you want to go for the idiot angle, while still making me look cool, you should interview me, Jamie Allen, JS Van Buskirk (because they can talk about my "influence" on their work and underground literature -- actually, I think that's a theme. My idiocy is actually starting to have an influence), as well as Ben Brown from So New Media, who published my book. Let me know what I can do to help.
DAY 3
MW: Neal, all of a sudden a journalistic question pops up. Are you worried that it'll be hard to keep up the gimmick?
NP: Well, I'm really not. The "gimmick," as you call it, has proven remarkably versatile. When my novel comes out in the fall, you'll see that I've made a great leap forward in voice. The novel has many characters and about one-and-a-half narrators. And I have other long-form fiction in the works. So no. When the gimmick dies, I will switch to another voice, because it is a fictional voice, after all, and not a persona. I only play the part on the page and, intermittently, on stage.
MW: You think you'll ever have to segue into another kind of writing, or another kind of humor?
NP: I sort of answered that above. The novel has elements of the first two books, but it is also a departure. And with my band, I'm doing rock 'n' roll parody, to which I'm supremely committed. And I think the writing on the blog represents a minor shift in gear and tone as well. I have 1,000 stories in my head, and 1,000 voices. I should be able to keep going for a while. Please feel free to challenge me. It's the only way this relationship will work. Do you think I'm fat?
DAY 4
MW: Yes, you're one huge fat fucker. And I hate it when guys try to cover up their hairy chests with smeared mud, as you do in that picture on your website.
NP: There are plenty of photos available of me with my hairy chest bared for all the world to see.
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