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Purple rage 

On Boulevard, a married couple was enjoying an evening at home. Suddenly, the wife heard a loud banging noise, followed by shattering glass. Outside, an annoying neighbor (a 50-year-old woman in a purple sweater and a white hat) was beating on their front door. The concerned husband decided to open the door and the neighbor forced her way inside. The neighbor was clutching a black-and-gray dumbbell, which she used to smash up the couple's air-conditioning unit. Then the neighbor used her dumbbell to destroy the front door and shatter two more windows. The agitated neighbor left before police arrived.

A cop spotted the purple-sweatered neighbor walking along Boulevard and arrested her. She struggled and "attempted to bit me," the officer wrote. The woman "was very irate, and had [erratic] behavior, very delusional. One minute, she was OK, the next she was mad and blaming everyone for what she did."

The neighbor insisted she'd heard the married couple scream, so she rushed over to help them, and she didn't damage a thing. Cops took her to Grady Memorial Hospital's psychiatric ward.

Fashion smackdown

"Ugh, she looks ugly in those pajamas." That's the quote that started a catfight brawl among a bunch of women, ages 21, 23, and 24, at West End Mall. Apparently, one woman tossed a chair; other women were yelling, cursing, hair-pulling, and punching. One woman poked an officer in the forehead "as a demonstration" of what another woman did to her. That officer quickly called for backup to try to diffuse the situation. More cops arrived and took three women to jail.

Plucky move

In Glenrose Heights, a woman said her live-in boyfriend "stole my chicken out of the refrigerator to buy crack and knocked over a TV and refrigerator" before leaving their home on Waters Road. The cop looked around: indeed a TV and fridge were lying askew. While the cop was there, the boyfriend returned — sans chicken. He denied any poultry-stealing or knocking over stuff. The boyfriend "talked and walked as if he was under the influence of some kinda alcohol/drug," the officer noted. The boyfriend went to jail for appliance flinging after two neighbors confirmed the girlfriend's story.

Gross guests

In the Summerhill neighborhood, officers went to a vacant, condemned apartment on Martin Street. While checking the doors, cops heard a man's voice coming from inside the apartment. A woman opened the door. The cop asked: Do you rent this apartment? No, the woman replied. The cop noted, "a heavy odor of natural gas coming inside the apartment. I also observed old rotten food, clothing, which belonged [to the woman] ... and mold growing on the wall. In the kitchen, there was a gas stove leaking natural gas. Two burners were lit and the oven door was open, producing heat." Cops turned off all the gas, and took the man and woman to jail.

To frame a friend

In Capitol View, a woman said she accidentally left her purse at a male friend's house on Elizabeth Street. Stupidly, she went over to retrieve her purse — while wearing the fancy sunglasses that she had swiped earlier from her friend. Of course, when her friend opened the front door, he saw his swank frames on her face and got pissed. According to the woman, her friend shoved the purse at her, snatched his sunglasses off her face and pushed her — causing her to fall and smush her hand. The friend says she tripped — he didn't push her. Cops took the friend away for battery.

Equine punch line

In Grant Park, an Atlanta police recruit was trying to tie his police horse dubbed "Guardian" to the wall at the Mounted Patrol Barn on Cherokee Avenue. Either the recruit doesn't know jack about horses, or Guardian revolted. The horse stepped on the recruit's right foot and toes, causing bruises and swelling. The recruit went to a hospital for examination.

Thankful for this cop

Around 1 a.m., a red Cadillac was zooming the wrong way down I-20 — headed against traffic. A cop pulled over the Caddy and spoke to the driver, an 83-year-old man from Grovetown, Ga. A yellow dog was sitting faithfully in the passenger seat. Also, there was a handgun in the car. The man said he'd been driving to church since 8 a.m. that morning — and he was just lost. Apparently, he'd driven all the way from his home in Grovetown (a suburb of Augusta) about 135 miles away. The officer tried to call someone — anyone — who knew this elderly man. But no one answered that time of night. The officer called medics, who declared the man unsafe to drive and took him to a hospital. The officer took care of the man's yellow dog.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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